So a while back, we brought you news about a pre-tay, pre-tay wild fan theory concerning Friends. It essentially – courtesy of Twitter user @kaneandgriffin – put forward the hard-to-argue-with idea that actually Joey was the man for Rachel, not Ross. Because when you think about it, Ross was a bit of whiny, manipulative bastard, and Joey was actually quite caring and kind. Also not a big cry-baby.
If you fancy reading the whole thread, let me direct you here, because I’m not embedding it all over again (it’s quite long).
But things do not stay dormant on the internet for long (until they do, of course), and this crazy opinion has been dragged, kicking and tweeting from the internet graveyard, thanks to a one Mrs. Jennifer Aniston, who has publicly responded. And it turns out she rates it wrong.
In an interview this week, she was asked for her opinion on this radical, perhaps life-changing hypothesis, and she reacted in the negatory:
“No!” she said, “No, no. They [Rachel and Joey] tried. I think there was a moment when Joey and Rachel got together that maybe it could happened, but it didn't. It was Ross and Rachel all the way.”
She then followed up that damning indictment with:
“I really believe that if there's an afterworld of Friends, they're still thriving.
I’m not sure, personally, but there’s no denying Ross’ neurosis, and his constant high-pitched screeching would weigh heavy on the old patience after a while, I’m sure. Still, Rachel, or Jennifer, where am I again, still isn’t backing down:
“I just don't think Joey and Rachel could have made it,” she said, with a shrug.
“I think it was more physical than emotional with them. They were friends with benefits, and they left it at that.”
But actually, the primary reason Rachel and Joey called time on their relationship was because of Ross. He walked in on them kissing, commenced his shrill harpy-cry, burned himself on a sizzling plate of fajitas and burst into tears over the romantic development.
Somehow, this meant that Rachel ended up back with him. Yeah I know – the last time I freaked out because I saw an ex with a man and burned myself on some fajitas, I just got kicked out of Chilango. Oh and got a ban for life. Not the woman of my dreams.
A bit of chicken did fall into my pocket during the kerfuffle though, so at least I had that to eat on the way home.
Who needs friends when you have chicken?