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You can now apply to be on the new series of 'Shipwrecked' - here's how to do it

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Gary Ogden
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They're bringing back 'Shipwrecked', because 'Love Island' 1

Fancy heading off to a remote island an unknown prole, then returning as a bonifide Z-lister? Here’s how to do it!

Look, actually, Shipwrecked was great - we don’t need to have a discussion over this. If you saw it, you thought it was great, if you didn’t, I reckon that you probably thought it sounded great, and if you actively disliked the idea of it, then you must be some sort of dark rain cloud, spreading anguish and misery wherever you go. Not interested in the likes of you.

Anyway, it’s back (tough), because of Love Island’s runaway success last year, and now the applications have finally opened. It could be you that is to head off to a beautiful, serene beach paradise, and return with a lovely career in nightclub appearances and/or teeth-whitening posts on Instagram. You’ve made it.

So how do you apply?

Well, you head on over here, and providing you are aged 18-30, you can have a stab at the application process. This essentially involves giving all your details, uploading some photos and then asking a bunch of mega-tough questions like:

(I’ve given you some sample answers to help you out, too)

1. What has been your proudest achievement to date (can be anything) and what is your biggest personal regret?

Having my hernia removed was banter. Regret? Boggsy’s house party. Can’t look at him the same way ever again. We’re not mates anymore to be honest. He hasn’t applied has he?

2. If you could change anything about your life what would you change?

Bigger biceps. You think these whips are big now, they will get bigger.

3. Why do you want to be SHIPWRECKED and why is now the right time in your life? Is there anything you want to escape at the moment or anyone?!

Yeah it’s international waters isn’t it? They can’t get me there right?

They're bringing back 'Shipwrecked', because 'Love Island'

The men will be considerably huger in the forthcoming series

4. What is it about you people would want to watch? Is there anything in particular you stand for, any message you want people to hear?! Or are you going to blow us away with your looks / personality / gameplans etc?!!!

The whips mainly. My personality is stored in the whips.

5. What would be the hardest thing about being Shipwrecked for you and how will you handle that?

What are the toilets like? I can’t go in public.

6. Do you have any particular practical skill / party trick / personality trait / ideology that you think would make you a benefit to your tribe?!

Yeah I’m a whacking great arsehole!

Got that? You can thank me later. 

If you’re successful, you’ll need to give up seven weeks over this summer while they film it and then, come 2019 when it airs, you’ll probably get to be in the same VIP area as one of those off Love Island. Dreams can come true!

(Images: Channel 4)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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