Jean-Claude Van Damme - Coors pitchman, splits enthusiast and a man who once popped a boner while dancing on television - has just had some bad news. Amazon have cancelled his show, Jean Claude Van Johnson, in which he plays a fictional version of himself who is both an actor and an undercover black-ops agent. The world will only ever have six episodes of it.
Hardcore JCVD fans aren’t going to be totally bereft this year though - he’s got a new film coming out imminently, Black Water, which reunites him with his Universal Soldier costar Dolph Lundgren and involves punching people on a submarine.
(Fun fact about Van Damme: he’s been married five times, but to four women. His third and fifth marriages were/are to the same woman, bodybuilder Gladys Portugues. Is that romantic? It probably isn’t, is it? Like, it would be more romantic if they hadn’t got divorced.)
Jean-Claude Van Johnson isn’t the only show to get the chop from Amazon. Also cancelled are One Mississippi and I Love Dick.
One Mississippi is/was created by Tig Notaro and Diablo Cody and based on Notaro’s life, with her playing a thinly veiled version of herself. Louis C.K. was an executive producer on it, prior to the revelations about his sexual misconduct - Notaro has said he was involved in name only, and the planned second season was to involve a character based on him.
I Love Dick, based on the novel of the same name and helmed by Transparent creator Jill Soloway, starred Kathryn Hahn as an artist sexually obsessed with a sculptor played by Kevin Bacon. It got really good reviews due to its complex, honest look at adult sexuality and commitment to the female gaze.
Amazon wasn’t just delivering bad news though - it renewed The Tick, starring Peter Serafinowicz as a near-invulnerable superhero in a kick-ass blue suit, for another season.