ShortList is supported by you, our amazing readers. When you click through the links on our site and make a purchase we may earn a commission. Learn more

25 Pieces Of Wisdom from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

25 Pieces Of Wisdom from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

25 Pieces Of Wisdom from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Danielle de Wolfe
08 October 2013

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has made it to a whopping 104 episodes. That's old, right? And with age comes experience. And with experience comes wisdom. So here we present 25 wordly-wise nuggets from the FX comedy for you to live your life by. That's if you want to believe in a TV show that's survived nine seasons with a lie for a title...

You can stream seasons 1-9 on Netflix right here

(Images: Rex)

Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton)

"Now as long as you hurt the other kid as bad or worse than he hurts you, you will have done your job."


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This shows leadership, I am promoting you to management."


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive."


Ronald "Mac" McDonald (Rob McElhenney)

"Computers are for losers."


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"Drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance...a beautiful dance with a chainsaw."


Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton)

"You can't get honey from a hornet's nest."


Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton)

"Frank says that the only thing that matters in this game is cash."


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"Masturbating bums are bad for Business."


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

"You never seen me once wash my testicles either but that doesn't mean I don't do it."


Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton)

"Nobody likes salting the snail but sometimes it gives you no choice."


Ronald "Mac" McDonald (Rob McElhenney)

"Every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right? Looks, brains, wildcard. Think about it! The A-team did it. Scooby Doo did it. The Ghostbusters did it!"


Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton)

"Jesus had like the best abs. He had the right idea. He knew no pain no gain."


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole."


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

"You can keep a gull as a pet, but you don't want to live with a seabird."


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

"Sometimes, I wonder though, if our lives are really more valuable than rats'."


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

“Let me tell you a little lesson, buddy. The cream always rises to the top. And I’m about to show you the white, hot cream of an eighth-grade boy.”


Ronald "Mac" McDonald (Rob McElhenney)

"Parenting is pretending you know what you're talking about, then jamming it down their throat!"


Ronald "Mac" McDonald (Rob McElhenney)

“People change, Frank. Look at me: I went from a tiny twink to the muscle-bound freak you see before you.”


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"Animals should be food, rugs and trophies."


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

"Sometimes you've got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet."


Ronald "Mac" McDonald (Rob McElhenney)

"There is no quicker way for people to think that you're diddling kids than by writing a song about it!"


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

"If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road."


Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day)

"Hitting him won't unbang your mom."


Frank Reynolds (Danny De Vito)

"I love eggs, Charlie. And I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And I don't care if anyone doesn't like that about me, they don't have to stick around."


Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton)

"I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care."