Close your eyes when you’re watching a tennis match and it’s even more noticeable that the historically dignified sport of well-dressed strawberry-lovers everywhere often sounds a lot like rampant shagging.
Many players seemingly find it impossible to fire off that rocket of a forehand without letting out a grunt or squeal usually reserved for sexually-charged hotel rooms. Some hate it, but that’s just the way it is.
Guests of the Sarasota Open in Florida would be forgiven, then, for dismissing increasingly audible groans filling the court as the inevitable soundtrack to a right good match happening elsewhere at the event.
But no. A clash between Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger was genuinely interrupted by a couple, somewhere nearby, banging like their lives depended on it.
The best thing about this, other than the obvious fact that an important sporting occasion is unapologetically halted by passionate lovemaking, is the awkward commentators that tried really hard to keep it all civilised, so emotionless and matter-of-fact about what was happening in the background.
At first, they wrongly explained that someone was piping the noise from an adult video playing on their phone, but it quickly became clear that this was happening in real-time. Actual sex at the tennis.
Also great were Tiafoe’s bewildered face expressions throughout. The much-hyped 19-year-old probably spoke for everyone in the crowd when he shouted into the night: “IT CAN’T BE THAT GOOD.”
I think our mystery couple would disagree.