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And we thought Steven Naismith did well the other week.
Polish striker Robert Lewandowski took the term 'super-sub' to a whole new level last night by scoring an incredible five goals in just nine minutes after coming on.
The Bayern Munich striker was introduced into the fray at half-time with Bayern trailing 1-0 at home to Wolfsburg, who began the match third in the table. He scored a tap-in for his first, then a lovely low strike for the second, took a couple of efforts for a volleyed third, clinically smashed in a fourth, and then scored an absolute screamer for the fifth.
Manager Pep Guardiola looked visibly shocked on the touchline - perhaps wondering why on earth he hadn't started with him.
The return means that Lewandowski scored more goals in nine minutes than Liverpool, Newcastle and West Brom have managed all season, and he broke several Bundesliga records in the process: fastest hat-trick (four minutes), then fastest time for four, and then five goals.
Watch the goals and the glory by clicking here. It really is FIFA stuff.