Last week we tackled the thorny issue of deciding just who had the worst fans in the Premier League.
We put a lot of thought into it. This was not something to be done lightly. There was an office consensus on the ‘winners’, but even so, we sent our verdict out into the world with a little trepidation.
However, we can now safely say, without any fear of contradiction, that our crowning of Arsenal as the worst fans in the Premier League is undisputed fact.
Just look at the state of this, spotted at the Arsenal training ground this morning:
Let’s take a closer look at that:
Oh wow. At first, we thought it must be just a couple of kids, bored on their Easter break or something (Easter’s not for a while though, apparently) but look closely at the lad on the left and – yep – that’s some grey hair. Unless these are some seriously prematurely ageing teenagers, that means that’s a grown man right there. And that means they’ve had to take holiday to do this.
Where to begin with this howling mess? The face masks? The couldn’t-be-more-football-in-2017 plea to boycott a luxury Swiss watch brand? The tin foil brilliance of the ‘4th place trophy’? The hashtags? The toy dogs? The naughty step? The fact that there is literally a banner with the words ‘tactical naivety’ on it?
We’re not sure our eyes will ever recover from this. Grown men have both thought to do this, decided it was an idea good enough to actually act on, done the preparation, designed and ordered the banners, made the tin foil trophy, and then turned up with it all.
At any step of the way, one of them could have thought, “D’you know what mate? This is probably a bit much. This will look pretty pathetic won’t it. Let’s call this one off”. But they didn’t. They went and did it. On a cold Tuesday morning in London Colney, they went through with it. Which, to be fair, takes some commitment. Utterly misguided commitment, but commitment nonetheless. Like a suicide bomber.
But one bit of this astonishing puzzle we can’t quite figure out – what’s up with the clock and the speed limit sign?
Why is at 10 to 2? Because they ‘ten(d) to’ finish fourth? ‘Time’s up for Wenger?’
Hang on – this guy’s got it.
Come on guys. Come on.
We understand you’re not all like this:
But really, they should be forced to watch this on loop forever.