Louis Van Gaal had barely wiped the celebratory champagne from his suit jacket when he found out that Jose Mourinho would be replacing him as Manchester United manager.
News spread of the controversial appointment immediately after his club’s 12th F.A Cup win – Van Gaal’s first trophy for the club – and the decision has just been confirmed by Old Trafford's hierarchy.
And what's more, just to rub it in, a senior figure within the club has laid into the Dutchman’s tumultuous reign.
We don't actually know who the inside source is - well, we have an idea, as will you - but it just comes as yet another confirmation that the manager's exit from the club is inevitable (although why the United heads think Jose Mourinho is the right man to tame a rebellious squad is anyone's guess).
Check out some of the incredible (and often hilarious) revelations below:
The squad considered a mutiny
According to The Guardian, Van Gaal was described by his players as “hard work”, and his methods ‘rubbed…like sandpaper’.
His tactics were so unpopular that members of the squad edged closer to openly defying his instructions, reasoning that “it can’t get much worse than this.” It’s fair to think that if the tough-talking Dutchman continued at the club, next season could have induced a first team mutiny.
He carried out abusive ‘evaluation sessions’
The morning after every match, Van Gaal would gather his players into a huddle and rip into their performances one by one. The Guardian's source revealed that “he would crucify players in front of each other”, and Wayne Rooney felt compelled to convince his manager to stop the sessions, which he considered morale-damaging.
So Van Gaal changed his mind – and made things worse...
In all fairness, Van Gaal listened to Rooney's concern. So, instead of mugging off his squad in public, the Dutchman started to send individual emails detailing the players’ faults, accompanied by video clips of their substandard performances.
The players, long since disillusioned with his dispiriting style, ignored his emails. This forced the manager to install a tracker to his messages, to monitor how long his emails were opened for.
Inevitably, players started to open their performance reviews on their phones and leave them on the side for 20 minutes, unread and unheeded. What a farce.
He nearly forced David De Gea out of the club
According to the source, David De Gea’s relationship with Van Gaal, as well as his goalkeeping coach Frans Hoek, had completely broken down by the end of the season.
He was reportedly considering a summer switch to long-time admirers Real Madrid – a terrifying prospect for a team that have relied heavily on his stand-out performances throughout the season.
He ruined his forward line
According to the catty, chatty source, many senior players were unhappy with Van Gaal’s treatment of attacking players.
One of the biggest gripes for the United forward line was Van Gaal’s instance that his players always take a touch inside the box before shooting. The Guardian offers one anecdote where Rooney almost ruined a great chance against Newcastle because of the manager’s rigid instructions and… the source of this information is becoming a little clearer, isn’t it?
Another example is the treatment of Ashley Young. Despite good form in his role as a fullback last season, Van Gaal's decision to push him up as a back-up centre forward inspired horror and bemusement from the player, who struggled in a role he had never played before.
Depay and Schweinsteiger have stinky attitudes
Following another poor performance from summer signing Memphis Depay, the underwhelming winger was instructed to play for the club’s reserves the next day. Needless to say, cocksure Memphis turned up to the game in a Rolls-Royce, and ‘did not seem to care when it was pointed out to him that it might reflect badly’ on the player’s attitude.
Bastian Schweinsteiger, another disastrous Van Gaal signing, inclination to fly back to Germany in-between matches also drew criticism from his squad mates. They thought it showed a lack of dedication from a player who had spent most of his season in the physio’s room.
One member of the United squad ‘can’t cook a boiled egg’
*cough* CHRIS SMALLING *cough*
Apparently, a member of the Manchester United squad asked the club chef to prepare him an egg to take home - because he didn't know how to boil it himself.
Van Gaal is better of without them, we say.