It’s fair to say that, for most of us, 2017 has been a bit of a bummer.
Most years we’d just have to deal with the stupid stuff, like an Irish family chasing a bat around their house, Wayne Shaw sparking a debate about what legally counts as a pie, or a man getting stuck on a planet.
But no, this year just had to be different.
In 2017, the stupid has been overshadowed by the genuinely terrifying, like the continued rise of the far right and the legitimate prospect of us all getting blown up after a world leader says the wrong thing.
We need to do all we can to make 2018 better, and we need to do it as early as possible.
Whatever you’re doing on New Year’s Eve, you’ll probably only be thinking of 2018 as an abstract concept, defined by the vague idea of resolutions.
But maybe we should be more specific about what we want from the New Year. Maybe we should be fussier about what we want to be doing when the clock strikes midnight.
Thankfully, there’s a way.
Someone has crunched the numbers and found a surefire way to enter 2018 listening to the chorus of that timeless classic, ‘Africa’ by Toto. So when you’re counting down to midnight, you’re also counting down to the moment Bobby Kimball belts out: “‘It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from youuuuuuuuuuu”.
If you play “Africa” by Toto at exactly 11:58:43pm on New Year’s Eve, the first chorus will play at exactly midnight. Kick off 2018 the way it’s meant to be— Jeremy (@CorgiWeather) December 17, 2017
While that’s great, we’ve heard rumours there are some people out there who aren’t fans of the Toto classic.
We’ve yet to meet a single one of them, but we have to work on the assumption that they exist.
Not to worry, though. There are other options.
If you play "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins at 23:56:20 on New Year's Eve you get the best drum fill introduction to the new year, so kick off 2018 the way it's meant to be done— SHAPES (@ShapesHQ) December 19, 2017
It turns out some people also like music that wasn’t recorded in the ‘80s. I know, it sounds preposterous, but still…
If you play “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance at exactly 11:57:21pm on New Year’s Eve, the part where frank says “trust me” before the last chorus will play at exactly midnight. Kick off 2018 the way it’s meant to be.— aria from hoity-toity 𓆣 (@aria_hoitytoity) December 19, 2017
if you start playing “dance yrself clean” by lcd soundsystem at 11:56:54 pm on new year’s eve then the drop will happen exactly at midnight. start your 2018 right.— Jenna LaFleur (@jagoandlitefoot) December 18, 2017
If you play "Bring me to life" by evanescence at eactly 11:59:08 on new years eve the first "Wake Me Up" will play at exactly Midnight.— Seapeekay (@Seapeekay) December 18, 2017
Start 2018 the right way.
if you start playing , “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” by Panic! At The Disco at exactly 11:59:26 PM on New Year’s Eve you’ll hear the first “I CHIMED IN” at exactly midnight and you’ll start 2018 the right way— penelope (@taylormchenry4) December 18, 2017
If you start the official music video for All Star by Smash Mouth at exactly 11:59:22 on December 31st, he'll go from saying "some" to "BODY" right at the start of the new year so start 2018 off the way it's meant to start— Bitch Burger (@kaptainkrk) December 19, 2017
Maybe music isn’t your thing. Don’t worry, there are other options.
If you play stranger things 2 episode 7 on 11:38 on new years eve, eleven will say "bitchin'" just as 2018 hits, start your 2018 right— kat 🌿 [jirou thirst] (@katloid) December 18, 2017
If you start watching INCEPTION at 10:36:56 P.M. on New Year’s Eve, Tom Hardy will say “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling” right when the clock strikes midnight.— tessa (@sherlockify) December 19, 2017
Kick off 2018 the way it’s meant to be.
Start your 2018 the right way.