Music

The Fyre Festival looks like one of the worst events in human history

Posted by
Tom Mendelsohn
Published

It was billed as the luxury festival for the Instagram generation: huge acts like Major Lazer, Tyga and, er, Blink 182 playing a private island in the Bahamas, organised by Ja Rule, promoted by a gaggle of supermodels in bikinis, with ticket packages costing anything from $450 for day passes up to $12,000 for a VIP package. 

On its official site – which is still up, incredibly – organisers describe it as “a cultural moment created from a blend of music, art, and food”, with partygoers whisked on to a hyper-exclusive resort on Great Exuma on “a custom, VIP configured Boeing 737” and staying in “modern, eco-friendly geodesic domes”. There’s an impossibly cute population of wild pigs living on the island, with organised tours of their home beaches. Hell, you could rent a yacht for a mere nine grand extra per day.

 

But behind the glamour of the woozy Instagram filters and Emily Ratajkowski’s bum, the reality is not unfolding quite as guests are expecting. The festival’s first official day is only just dawning, and Twitter and Reddit are ablaze with stories we can’t quite believe.

Rumours are flying thick and fast about what’s happening at the site. Amongst the claims we’ve seen:

  • Luggage is being thrown out of packing containers
  • Some of the tents, which are the kind that the US government’s disaster relief department uses in crises, have been set on fire by rampaging guests
  • Security don’t speak much English and are allegedly laying people out
  • Someone’s raided a bar and is handing out free booze to people trapped on the island
  • The US embassy in the Bahamas is chartering emergency flights off the island
  • The first night’s food experience was a bread roll, two slices of processed cheese and some letteuce
  • Many tents don’t have beds, and those that do are wet and lacking bedding
  • The lockers don’t have locks
  • There is no beer on site because they ordered it too late

Online, amused at the thought of people rich enough to shell out $12,000 on a VIP experience that doesn’t even include all the available upgrades having this bad of a time, is having a field day. 

Fyre Festival is being held over two weekends. You’ve probably missed the boat for the first event, which is on between today and Sunday (28 – 30 April), but it looks like you might be able to get a good deal on the next one, which is on from 5 – 7 May. If they don’t cancel it, that is, which they definitely, surely will.

Latest: the event has been ‘postponed’, presumably until the end of time.

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Here’s the story as it unfolded:

Image: Instagram