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The 10 weirdest bits of band merch money can buy

The 10 weirdest bits of band merch money can buy

The 10 weirdest bits of band merch money can buy

This weekend, Britpop legends Blur have unveiled their own range of ice-cream. The Magic Whip - also the title of their recent number one album will be available at Co-Op stores and on the band's upcoming UK tour. 

If you think the idea of a Blur-branded dessert is weird, wait until you take a look at our gallery.

We've collated all the hard stuff - the toilet seat covers, coffins and "special blankets" that bear your favourite band's name.

And you thought they only did t-shirts...

Iceage flick knife

Everything about Denmark's Iceage is sinister. Their music; their dabbling with Nazi symbolism; their merch... The band sold these flick knives, bearing the logo from their New Brigade album, for $20 each on their 2012 US tour. Creepier still, band members were selling locks of their own hair on their website for 20 EUR each. Alternatively, you could have just bought the knife and tracked the band down to get a lock for free. And maybe their wallet. (But seriously guys: don't knife crime.)


Deadmau5's Cat Headphones

In 2012, Deadmau5 launched a range of headphones for cats. These groundbreaking audio accessories cost $999, with production limited to just ten pairs. The context - that all proceeds went to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals - only slightly dims the out-and-out madness of it all. Great promotional video, though.


The Rammstein "sex kit"

Deep breath, now. German band Rammstein completely redefined the meaning of the words "box set" when they released this extraordinary collection of sex toys in 2009. The aluminium flight case contains a copy of their album, Liebe ist fur alle da,some handcuffs, lube and six dildos, each styled on a band member's, erm, member.
If you want to buy one - we're trying extremely hard not to judge you - then there are currently two brand new ones available on Amazon, priced £795.00. Or, you can pick up a used one for £0.79. (Not really - that was a joke.)


KISS "Kasket" coffins

Considering dying soon, but a bit worried that the people of the future won't know who your favourite band was, should they ever have reason to dig you up? These KISS "Kaskets" have got you covered. That'll be $4000, please.


Tenacious D 'Towel'

And now to the nefarious private activities of teenage boys. This innocent-looking towel is in fact a masturbatory clean-up aid bearing the name of Jack Black's band, Tenacious D. Sure, it seems like a fun thing to order, but take a second to imagine how low you'd feel in the immediate aftermath of using this. Suckered by consumerism and crippled by lonely, lonely lust. What a cranker.


Weezer Snuggie

Great songs from our youth can make us feel warm and cosy on the inside. In 2009, band-from-our-youth Weezer made us feel warm and cosy on the outside, too. As well as keeping you swaddled, these branded Snuggies keep you looking like the world's comfiest cult leader. Some accolade.


Jedward noodles

Loads of bands endorse foodstuffs - apart from Blur's ice cream, you can get Bastille hot sauce, Bob Marley fizzy drinks, AC/DC wine, Elbow beer and British Sea Power Kendal Mint Cake - but few run the risk of being eclipsed in popularity by their own range of beef noodles. Even if they do burn your mouth and taste awfully at least these Jedward noodles won't burst into a dreadful cover of Blink-182's All The Small Things.


Prodigy toilet seat cover

This furry toilet seat cover bears the ant logo seen on the cover of the Prodigy's 1997 album, The Fat Of The Land. Targeting a niche demographic of pill-heads with appalling taste in bathroom accessories, the seat covers are now something of a collectors' item. Not sure you'd want one second hand, mind...


Wavves' marijuana smoking accessories

Californian punk rockers Wavves combined slacker ethics with the spirit of capitalist enterprise in 2010, by selling this range of marijuana "grinders". Band leader Nathan Williams expanded the range in 2011, too, this time including Wavves-branded rolling papers. He should open a business school next, so he can Cheech entrepreneurs where they're going Chong. (Cheers.)


Kurt Cobain action figure

It's sickeningly ironic that the late 20th century's most anti-commercialist figure (remember In Utero's extra-meta Radio Friendly Unit Shifter?) could have ended up as an actual commercially-available figure. Thus, this is our pledge to you: we won't make any lame jokes about the Kurt Cobain doll (of which this is the second), if you promise not to desecrate his memory by buying one. OK?