Sometimes, I feel like I would like to be famous, just so that then when I got interviewed in a magazine and got asked dumb and obscure questions like “What’s your favourite happy hardcore song?” I would be able to say “Well, of course it’s Jess & Spenno - ’Find Your Way’” and people would actually read it. I want to be asked stupid questions in magazines, basically. WON’T SOMEONE LISTEN TO ME?
Well, yes, they will. I mean, it’s a ‘they’ in the loosest sense of the word, because it’s actually a Twitter bot, but the sentiment is the same. At least I’ll feel like I’m being interviewed by a magazine - or more specifically, famous pop music mag Smash Hits. Essentially, what it does is asks you questions gleaned from various back issues of the mag, and then you are free to answer them, on the internet, for everybody to see. It’s like you’re actually famous, for once.
It’s great, look:
Jem 'Ligament Insured For One Million Pounds' Jem.— Smash Hits Interview Bot (@smashhitsbot) March 28, 2018
What's the worst illness you've ever had?
Free poster: Ultravox, other side: Level 42.— Smash Hits Interview Bot (@smashhitsbot) March 28, 2018
What's your favourite hat?
And because it’s 2018, it turns out actual popstars are joining in and being interviewed by it:
Actually pop stars being interviewed by Smash Hits bot. These two are the drummer and bassist in Franz Ferdinand. Totally didn't imagine this outcome. It's really what I love about bot stuff, the possibility to surprise as they interact with the real world. @smashhitsbot pic.twitter.com/YgzPTz1gD2— Rob Manuel (@robmanuel) March 29, 2018
I could go on, but I actually have an interview in five minutes, so I must rush.
You do too though, don’t you? Think about it, in 40 years’ time, people might look back on your answer of “Peas” as the most influential moment in the Frost/Nixon of encounter of its day. What a star.
Head on over here to indulge.