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Someone has written a movie script about Fyre Festival starring Leonardo DiCaprio

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Gary Ogden
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Fyre Festival? What’s that? Said nobody, because everybody knows what it is – or was, anyway. What it was, was a full-on turbo-charged shitstorm of a music festival. The organisers promised an experience like no other, and whooooo-boy did they deliver! That is, if you wanted to experience Mad Max: Fury Road in real life, only without that sick legend with the fire guitar. Without him, because, you know, there wasn’t any music or anything, because it was a hell-hole. You can read the full story here.

Aaaaanyway, obviously when something catches the attention of ‘the internet’, eventually, someone somewhere will write a parody script about the debacle. It’s what the denizens of the online mainframe supernova do, buddy.

So to writer Jordan VanDina, and his parody script for Lord Of The Fyre (even though Fyre Straits would have been a better name). It’s a story all about Leonardo DiCaprio and his experience at the festival, just as he decides to bring the ‘Pussy Posse’ back together, aka: him, Tobey Maguire, David Blaine and E from Entourage.

It’s a good 32 pages long, so it requires a bit of a commitment to what is quite a one-note joke, but stretching a gag to breaking point is a favourite pastime of mine, so I’m on board, 98%.

If you want to read the whole thing – which includes such gems as “What in the fuck is going on here? We’ve been on this island for 5 minutes and I don’t have any fluids going in me or coming out of me. This is fucking bullshit.” – then you can do exactly that below:

Good work. Quite a lot of effort, but good work nonetheless. And if you want to experience some more "Quite a lot of effort, but good work nonetheless", then check out our honest Fyre Festival posters here.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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