Erm, have you seen this yet:
(Warning: it is a ‘tough watch’)
I’ll be honest, I have never used the world ‘lit’ in its current millennial guise - I’ve always preferred its traditional usage. You know, like “You’ve just lit my hair on fire” or “I’ve just lit your hair on fire”. It’s used differently now, like “Oh my God, this party is so lit, someone’s just lit their hair on fire”.
But hey, let the kids use it that way, because it is ‘nowadays’, and you can’t stop them. As can be evidenced above. Or below, if you fancy watching the entire music video:
Props if you made it all the way through - I had to do it for this article and my DNA has forever been changed. I am something else now - a miracle? An abomination? I don’t know. Thankfully, I’m still conscious enough to explain it all, for all you people wondering what the hell “My phone is always wet, wet” means.
Here’s a lyric-by-lyric breakdown:
“Yo, Paige, wake up, I’m coming to get you, right now, we’re getting Taco Bell, I’m so lit, get up, Paige, get up, because I’M SO LIT RIGHT NOW”
Obviously we’ve got Sydney McGee here, song-artiste, trying to wake up her mate Paige by leaving her an answerphone message, even though it is impossible to wake someone up with an answerphone message unless it’s the ‘80s. Anyway, then she says “I’m so lit” for the first time, and this happens:
So presumably she is talking about the engine of her car, which is clearly on fire.
“OK OK OK”
OK OK OK.
“I’m so lit right now, your life is so borin’”
Her car’s still on fire, and your life is boring because your car is not on fire, I guess. Only thing is, when she’s boasting about how not-boring her life is, she says it like this:
But she neglected to recognise that the most bored man in the world was directly behind her:
“Why y’all sleepin’ on me? I can hear you snorin’”
Stop being like Paige and wake up and pay attention to Sydney, because her car’s on fire.
“I’m so lit right now, my phone is always wet, wet”
I guess this means she keeps dropping it in ponds or rivers because she’s so lit that her phone is, by proxy, also on fire.
“Makin’ vids right now, I’m gonna be the best, best”
Still so very, very bored:
“Lit up in T-Bell, and in high school”
Why am I here?
“Countin’ big subs, hit my first mil’. All the boys go crazy off that first verse”
Maybe they got kicked out of Taco Bell for dancing on the tables and had to go to Subway. Anyway, she’s talking here about how many millions of views she’s got on the internet, which I can completely understand if she consistently posts stuff like this - consider me subscribed!
Last bit is self-explanatory: yes, of course I did.
“I’m so lit right now. Okay, okay, okay, ugh!”
Car’s still on fire, we need someone to cut her out.
“They said, ‘Sydney, why you always eat at taco bell?’”
Get off the table Sydney otherwise you’re gonna have to go to Subway.
“Call up corporate ‘cause you know I’m a big deal. Quesarito, yeah, you know it’s my favorite meal”
I’m not sure what we’re to tell corporate? “Hello, is this corporate? Umm, Sydney is a big deal. Bye.
“Oh wait, sorry, don’t put the phone down. I forgot to tell you that the Quesarito is her favourite meal.”
“They said, ‘Sydney, how you do this while in high school?’ Makin’ vids everyday, yeah, I’m cool”
Here we’ve got Sydney’s mates asking her how she fits in all this cool rapping and stuff even though she’s got exams. Well, it’s because she’s ‘cool’, that’s how. If you were cool, you’d know, you nerd.
“Check my subs, 100k, yeah, you’re a fool”
She has over-ordered in Subway.
“For my real friends, add your handle”
Something to do with Twitter, but also:
THIS IS NOT A VERY GOOD LOOK, MATE.
“Comment section so lit like a candle. You tryna hate? Nah, that’s a scandal”
She’s saying that lots of people are commenting on her videos, which is cool:
“Hop up in my hellcat, flexin’ on my haters. Ice on my wrist, plus all my meals catered”
This is Sydney getting in her Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat, which I think annoys the people that don’t like her. If I didn’t like someone, it would annoy me that they had a nice sports car, so this bit makes sense. Next up, she lets you know she has a watch on, and that people make her meals, except, erm:
I’d ask for my money back from the catering company if someone served me that half-eaten piece of shit.
“I like my Mountain Dew, all flavors”
Yep, nothing wrong with this. Next.
“Brrr, brrr, brrr, get ya views up now”
Must be cold in the studio or something.
“Brrr, brrr, brrr, buy her merch right now”
“We so lit, dab like this”
Quick little instructional video on how to dab, for the grandparents out there (you, at a wedding, basically, you idiot).
“We so lit, eat like this”
The manic eyes, there, of someone who has just poisoned a Quesarito and given it to her best friend.
“We so lit, she’s my best friend”
NOT FOR LONG.
And that’s that - a little bit more chorus repetition and then a gross kiss at the end. I hope I have in some way enlightened you to the minds of our social-media-savvy youngsters.
Oh, and P.S. Still bored:
OH MY GOD IS SHE STILL IN THE CAR?