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11 reasons Morrissey should be Mayor of Manchester

11 reasons Morrissey should be Mayor of Manchester

11 reasons Morrissey should be Mayor of Manchester
22 August 2016

This weekend, the man, the myth, the legend known as Morrissey took to the stage of the Manchester Arena and promptly declared himself as the Lord Mayor of the city.

Which got us thinking: would a Mozza mayorship be such a bad idea? Some may say the outspoken Smiths founder would certainly prove a divisive leader, but we reckon it could be a masterstroke.

Here's why:

His love for the Manchester street food scene

"I see no difference between eating animals and paedophilia,"


He's a big fan of the Warehouse Project

“[Dance music] is the refuge for the mentally deficient. It's made by dull people for dull people.”


That famous get up and go attitude

“What's the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning? Wish I hadn't.”


The sheer reliability of the guy

"Sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard."


The man has good taste in liberal educators

"Liberal educators such as George Galloway and Nigel Farage are loathed by the BBC because both men respect equal freedom for all people,"


His championing of the follicly endowed

"Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death."


Closer ties to Buckingham Palace

"For a broad historical view of what the queen is and how she rules, examine Gadaffi or Mubarak, and see if you can spot any difference."


The man's optimism

“When I'm lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me."


He loves Oasis

“They are very tame to me. God bless Noel, I'm sure he'll always have a spot on 'Bob's Full House', but I search for something with more bite and rage.”


He isn't scouse...

"They have just elected the new mayor of Manchester, he is very nice, he's [from] Liverpool, and nobody asked for my opinion."