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London is getting a giant urban zip-wire – the fastest in any major city in the world

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Gary Ogden
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Walking is so old hat. Nowadays you’ve got to fly, or hop, or be on a bonkers unicycle or something, you idiot. But have you ever been on a zip-line? That’s the new cool thing to do – if you want a hip, wizard way to travel across London, then you need to do it strapped to a big metal wire.

You’re in luck, then, because London is getting its very own high-speed zip-line. It’s coming from the lot behind Zip World Penrhyn (an adventure park in Wales that is home to a one-mile long zip-line) and it’ll stretch from Archbishop’s Park near Lambeth Palace all the way down to the ground, 225m away.

You’ll be hitting speeds of 50mph, making it the fastest line in any major city in the world (the actual fastest is at the previously mentioned Zip World Penrhyn, where you’ll zip down at over 100mph). Although whether you’ll have enough time to properly take in the sights remains to be experienced – I’d probably be too concerned with holding down my meal deal.

Barry Shaverin, founder of Zip World London, says: “I see it as a decent halfway house between a rollercoaster and a bungee jump. It’ll be exciting but not terrifying. Giant zip-lines and the greatest cityscape in the world – it seemed such an obvious idea to put the two together. And Archbishop’s Park is one of London’s best-kept secrets. We really want to help it get the attention it deserves.” 

So that’s all the good, fun, exciting news out the way – now here’s the bad:

  • It will cost £22.50
  • It will last 30 seconds
  • There will be 40 minutes worth of briefing beforehand
  • You’ll have to wear one of those harnesses that bunches up all around your crotch and makes you look like you’ve got a massive arse

Apart from that though, I reckon this’ll be quite fun. Or at least it will be for whoever is on the zip-line – it won’t be for that bloke on the ground that gets a full face of high-velocity egg and cress from the heavens.

Also: can’t wait until Boris Johnson has a go on it.

Tickets for Zip World London cost £22.50 for adults, £18.50 for students and £16.50 for children over eight.  A family ticket costs £58.95. It is open from 10am to 7pm from 7 July for 12 weeks. Book your tickets here.

(Image: ZipWorld London)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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