This video of a kangaroo brutally taking out a cyclist is the most Australian thing ever

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Gary Ogden
Here's a video of a kangaroo knocking someone out to start your week off right

Cyclists, whatever you think of them, I rate they deserve to be on the road as much as anyone else, providing they obey the rules like the rest of us (I don’t obey the rules, but I’m a rad punk with my cap on backwards, so sit and spin, granddad!). 

I certainly don’t think they deserve to be twatted by a surprise kangaroo for their troubles, whilst barreling down a dusty road. Sure, maybe they didn’t have the correct hi-vis outerwear on, or the tread on their tyres wasn’t deep enough, but come on, that doesn’t warrant an absolute slugging by a rogue marsupial. Does it?

Or maybe it does, for we know not of this particular rider’s transgressions, the sins that led to her being unceremoniously floored like this:

Out for the count, there, that lady. Right off the bike, banged her head on the floor, kangaroo well-and-truly done her over and scarpered. What an efficient and pointed attack on an innocent cyclist - I always knew kangaroos were arseholes.

Thankfully, the rider’s friends were interviewed by Aussie paper The Courier-Mail, who dutifully allayed any fears we might have had for her well being:

“She was released from hospital that afternoon, with stitches in her knee and her right arm in a sling, for the shoulder-injury from the kangaroo’s impact.

“Within a day she was having a rueful laugh about it all and worrying about the work days she will miss.”

As for the kangaroo? She was last seen in the pub boasting about “laying out one of those lycra bogans” before downing a full pouch of VB and getting a dog in a headlock. What a spiggin hufter.

(Image: Ivan Lojko)


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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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