Fuck-a-doodle-doo, look who’s coming back to the big screen!
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are dipping back into their favourite genre, comedy-horror, with a new movie that will be called Slaughterhouse Rulez – that’s like rules, but with a Z, so you know it’s cool.
The duo are of course famous for their ‘Three Flavours Cornetto’ trilogy of Shaun of the Dead, which was brilliant, Hot Fuzz, which is officially the fourth greatest movie of all time behind Toy Story, Toy Story 3 and Toy Story 2 – no argument, and The World’s End, which to be honest I’ve only seen about 20 minutes of, but it didn’t seem as good as the other two.
The news of the new movie was announced by deadline.com, who sum it up as follows: “Slaughterhouse Rulez is set in an elite boarding school – Welcome to Slaughterhouse – where boys and girls are groomed for power and greatness and they’re about to meet their match. The story’s hero, Don Wallace, is a wide-eyed new boy from a modest background forced to navigate a baffling new world of arcane rules and rituals, presided by sadistic sixth formers. Matters of status are aggressively enforced and conversation with school goddess Clemsie, are strictly forbidden.
“But this ancient and ordered world is about to be shaken to its foundations – literally – when a controversial frack site on prize school woodland causes seismic tremors, a mysterious sinkhole and an unspeakable horror is unleashed. Soon a new pecking order will be established as pupils, teachers and the school matron become locked in a bloody battle for survival.”
I’m here for this. Watching posh school kids get fucked up by “unspeakable horror” sounds exactly like my jam. It sounds a bit like Stranger Things, but British and funny.
Also, this will surely be the first big blockbuster movie that’s got fracking in it, won’t it? Never thought we’d see the day Simon Pegg and Nick Frost made a film about fracking, tbh.
The movie will be made under the pair’s brand new TV production banner called Stolen Picture. There’s no word yet on when it’ll be coming out, but we’re hoping for “now”. Is it now?