Films

They’re rebooting ‘Hellboy’ without the original cast and crew, because Hollywood

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Gary Ogden
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I really like the first Hellboy (which is 13 years old, Jesus) – Ron Perlman couldn’t have been a more ideal fit for the hulking demon, and Guillermo Del Toro’s very personal brand of creature-heavy fantasy was suited to the story perfectly. 

Unfortunately, this went to Del Toro’s head a bit, so he went overboard on the silly fantasy stuff with the sequel and turned it into a bit of a fluffy technicolour jamboree – not as good. It was certainly no Blade II, anyway, which – and I don’t care what you say – is his best work.

Anyway, there was a planned threequel in the works, with everybody returning, but it seems that it all fell through, as so many things do nowadays, and so the Hellboy name has switched hands rather violently.

We’re now going back to the beginning, and the dreaded ‘reboot’ word has been screeched from numerous penthouse rooftops in California. Another thing being shouted is a working title of Hellboy: Rise of the Blood Queen, which is a shit name, obviously. Hope they change it. 

But who will be stepping into Hellboy's huge boots? Well, one David Harbour. That’s Chief Jim Hopper from Stranger Things in case you were wondering – and is news that doesn’t fill me with dread. I think he’s great, and probably quite a good shout, no?

David Harbour

Behind the camera will be Neil Marshall, who directed The Descent and Dog Soldiers (which – and I don’t care what you say – is his best work), so another pair of safe hands, there. Maybe a bit more emphasis on the horror side of things, too, which can only be a good thing.

This revolutionary theory by me is being backed up by the fact that it’s going to be R-rated (so a 15, or less likely, an 18). Del Toro’s Hellboy movies were slightly lighter in tone than the comics, and didn’t resonate with audiences as well as hoped – they both got good reviews but they didn’t set the box office alight.

Thankfully, in 2017, R-rated superhero films are all the rage, thanks to Deadpool and Logan – their huge cinema hauls have convinced studio execs that there’s money to be made in adult comic book movies.

I guess I’m excited? I’ve learnt to not really care about stuff getting rebooted – even franchises I really like – because at some point or another, it will happen. So just suck it up and deal with it, poindexter. It’s a fucking comic book.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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