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If you're wearing pants, Netflix's new horror movie 'Veronica' will scare them off

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Mike Rampton
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If you're wearing pants, Netflix's new horror movie 'Veronica' will scare them off

It’s cold outside, cold and dark. There’s something about the stark, eerie, end-of-days feeling that snow brings that makes having the absolute shit scared out of you really appealing. It’s like the world just becomes a little more horror-y. Shadows look slightly more sinister. Your breath hangs in the air, proof you’re alive… for now. Everyone’s wrapped up, their faces hidden by scarves. Anything could be hidden behind that woolen barrier - are there fangs behind there? Is there even a face at all? That narrow alley you take on the way home suddenly looks scary, as though if you were to walk down it you might come out somewhere else entirely. There’s an otherness to the world, an unfamiliarity, as streets you walk down every day suddenly look new, threatening, ever so slightly monstrous.

When, and if, you make it home this evening, you face the following options:

a) get appallingly, appallingly drunk

b) watch a horror film while covered in blankets and get too scared to go to bed

c) combine (a) and (b)

Netflix have just added the 2017 Spanish horror movie Veronica, a must-watch for fans of the demonic possession/exorcism/Ouija board subcategory of scary movies. Based on a true story (probably/hopefully extremely loosely), it follows a teenage girl looking after her younger siblings following her father’s death. After messing about with a Ouija board during an eclipse, which everyone knows is the worst possible time to mess with a Ouija board, things start getting really, really strange…

Behold, a trailer:

HA HA HA YEAH THAT’LL DO IT. 

It’s got good horror credentials behind it - it’s directed by Paco Plaza, half of the writer-director team behind the pant-ruiningly scary [REC] series, and has had good reviews at film festivals and on horror sites. Right now it’s got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, but that’s mainly because not that many people have seen it yet…

(Fun Spanish language / Ouija board fact: the name “Ouija” is a combination of the French and Spanish words for “Yes”. What a fun fact!)

Do it, get yourself all riled up and terrified, it’s the perfect night for it. And if it spurs you to do some dead-person contacting of your own, go for it, but for God’s sake wear a jumper. The night is dark, and full of terrors, and absolutely bloody freezing.

[Image: Sony Pictures/Netflix]

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Mike Rampton

Mike Rampton is extraordinarily old, like some sort of giant mountain.

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