Films

These funny five-star reviews of terrible movies will make you want to watch them

Posted by
Tom Victor
Published
amazon-reviews

We’ve watched a lot of films over the years, and I think we’re in a position to say we know what a good movie looks like and we know what a bad one looks like.

Or at least we thought we did.

The IMDb bottom 100 is renowned for being a mix of the terrible, the really terrible and the borderline unwatchable, but if opinion is subjective when it comes to the highest-rated films, why not the lowest-rated too?

We’ve gone through a selection of the films with the lowest ratings on IMDb, all 2.5/10 or lower, and sought out people who truly, genuinely enjoyed them – or at least enjoyed them enough to leave five-star reviews on Amazon.

  1. 1.

    'Manos: The Hands of Fate - 1.7 on IMDb

    hands-of-fate

    “There have been many good and bad films over the years. Then there are films like Manos, The Hands of Fate. It does not respond to words such as good and bad, as these words do not exist on the planet Manos comes from.”

    - Mr Jonathon T Beckett

  1. 2.

    'Foodfight' - 1.8

    The best 5-star reviews of terrible films

    “I have feelings for Dex Dogtective that I didn’t know I had.”

    - Tommy Cameron

  2. 3.

    'Birdemic: Shock and Terror' - 1.8

    poster

    “Alfred Hitchcock has nothing on this movie.”

    - vasil

  3. 4.

    'Disaster Movie' - 1.9

    imdb-films

    “Before I went to see this film I looked at the Odeon review and I thought the public were stupid. This film was great, you’ve got to love spoofs. I thought it was 12A for a good reason, in cinemas Epic Movie was 12A. I loved it. 87 mins of pure gold. It should have been Good Movie.”

    - Stephen

  4. 5.

    'The Hottie and the Nottie' - 1.9

    paris-hilton

    “I had seen this film and its romance gripped me all the way through, Paris Hilton is a stunner in this film. must see.”

    - Sarah

  5. 6.

    'Attack of the Jurassic Shark' - 1.9

    The best 5-star reviews of terrible films 2

    “The shark is computer generated and can swim easily in a foot of water and pick off people standing on the beach. The sound track cheaply echoes when recording in a hallway. In one scene one of the bad guys has a girl in his gun sight when he is hit from behind… and the girl shows up behind him a second later!”

    - The Movie Guy

  6. 7.

    'From Justin to Kelly' - 1.9

    films

    “OK, so its a little corny but so was Grease. But as soon as you get past the random break in to song bits and enjoy it for what it is, you will really enjoy this movie.”

    - I. McIntosh

  1. 8.

    'Going Overboard' - 1.9

    adam-sandler

    “Think The Sixth Sense crossed with King Lear with a suggestion of American Pie thrown in for good measure.”

    - Anon

  2. 9.

    'Who's Your Caddy' - 2.1

    big-boi

    “This laugh a minute comedy is full of biting satire combined with wild slapstick that make this one hell of a must see romp. if you think comedy is the best genre like me, Who’s Your Caddy hands down is the funniest comedy film you will ever see ergo possibly the greatest film of all time DO NOT MISS IT.”

    - Upsidedown review

  3. 10.

    'Glitter' - 2.2

    mariah-carey

    “I purchased it for £3 back when it came out people where not feeling it but i personally love all the sounds and think Mariah was great in Glitter and haters need to chill and enjoy Mariah’s cheesy moment and love her for it xx.”

    - Donna1991

  4. 11.

    'Space Mutiny' - 2.3

    MST3K

    “The best scene in the movie has got to be her dancing in the nightclub with a hula hoop, an act so disgraceful that not only did it lead the MST3K guys to quip, “So, in the future there’s absolutely no shame,” but also, “She’s presenting like a mandrill,” both of which were spot on the money.”

    - Robert I. Hedges

  5. 12.

    'Dracula 3000' - 2.3

    review-poster

    “It has a quality cast with Casper van Dien, Erica Eleniak, Coolio and the big fella from Fifth Element and Friday. The ending leaves you with the feeling the producers might of run out of money.”

    - W. L. Mcnally

  6. 13.

    'Gigli' - 2.4

    affleck-lopez

    “If I could watch this for every second I would. I’ll have it showing at my wedding.

    Love you Lopez.

    Xxxoo”

    - Brown Muffin

  1. 14.

    'Anne B. Real' - 2.5

    The best 5-star reviews of terrible films 4

    “Simply put, I was swept away, by the music, by the energy, by the writing, by the acting, by the vision and visuals, and, of course, by the unique play of words flowing from the experience of this aspiring teen “rhymer” against the inspirational words of Anne Frank and the resulting evolution of this teenage girl.”

    - LA Lawyer

  2. 15.

    'Battlefield Earth' - 2.5

    travolta

    “I can only think it was panned by the critics because of the Scientology links, not because of the film itself, which is a shame. I hope they make a sequel, and agree with others that this will eventually become a ‘cult’ film.”

    - m l southern

  3. 16.

    'Chairman of the Board' - 2.5

    The best 5-star reviews of terrible films 1

    “I know it’s a cheesy movie, but hey, it also has Jack Warden and Raquel Welch.”

    - Experienced Gamer

  4. 17.

    'Track of the Moon Beast' - 2.5

    track-of-the

    “This movie is made of, oh, a lot of things… chicken, corn, green peppers, chili, onions… Well, it’s an old recipe around here. Five stars!”

    - JeremiahZero

  5. 18.

    'The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies' – 2.5

    b-movie

    “The movie says it’s 80 minutes long, but I know they’re lying to me because I sat and watched it for 18 hours.”

    - Talon Konrath

  6. 19.

    'Simon Sez' - 2.6

    The best 5-star reviews of terrible films 3

    “All I have to say is that Rodman is the man for this movie. Because you’ve got to admit he does whatever he wants whenever he wants however he wants, becasue he’s Dennis Rodman.”

    - Darren McNeil

  7. 20.

    'Breaking Wind' - 2.6

    amazon-reviews

    “The dick and fart jokes were mostly fart jokes, but there were some dick jokes.”

    - William D. Colburn