Films

Someone’s invented the Nicolas Cage cage, a cage for watching Nicolas Cage movies in

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Gary Ogden
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One thing this old internet likes, is Nicolas Cage, right – write something about Nicolas Cage and you’re guaranteed those all-important hits. Make something involving Nicolas Cage and you’ve got yourself a hit juggernaut – gifs, Photoshopped pictures, videos – howay, you’re onto a winner. But what beats all that? Interactive Cage-based content; that’s how you beat the internet on hard, no cheats.

So that’s why two enterprising click-mongers called Mike Lacher and Chris Baker made The Cage Cage. It’s pretty much as about Nicolas Cage as you can get, really, and it’s bound to take over the internet airwaves for at least a little bit. It’s also a great excuse for me to write an article that has Nicolas Cage in the headline, which is a great thing for getting the views in.

They teach you that in SEO school, where there are only two classes: Nicolas Cage Studies and Cats 101. It’s possible to do a subsidiary module on That Time The Undertaker Threw Mankind Off Hell In A Cell, And Plummeted 16 ft Through An Announcer’s Table, but that’s only if you really want to ace your thesis.

Anyway, “what is The Cage Cage?” I notice you have scrawled onto the back of your hand. Well, it’s this:

Of course, you still don’t know what it is, as that video explains almost nothing. The Cage Cage exists in virtual reality – you pop yourself into your headset and are immediately transported into a virtual cage surrounded by constantly-playing Nicolas Cage movies. That’s it. They’re all playing at the same time so it’s a full-on nightmare-cube, but still, hits. Internet hits. Lots and lots of internet hits.

If you fancy entering it for some reason, then head on over here.

The article has finished, btw – if you could ignore everything after the above sentence, that would be great. I’ve just gotta do something else I learned in SEO class.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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