Films

Disney tried to hide the Millenium Falcon in an English field, but got rumbled by Google Maps

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Gary Ogden
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Disney's attempt at hiding the Millenium Falcon failed spectacularly, thanks to Google

Wally, Carmen Sandiego, Lord Lucan, Agent Mulder’s sister - all things that people have tried to find. Much like the Millennium Falcon - the real-life, full-size spaceship that was used in the next Star Wars movie: The Last Jedi. Filming for the upcoming movie took place at Longcross Studios, just outside of London, and unbeknownst to the locals, there was a fuck-off massive Corellian YT-1300f light freighter sitting in the middle of a field, surrounded by multicolured shipping containers.

Yes, so far, so well done Disney, you have hidden the big spaceship from prying eyes - good work. But you appear to have neglected the biggest prying eye of all time: Google.

The all-seeing, all-terrifying giant eye of Sauron that casts its unforgiving gaze over our entire planet - obviously Google is going to find your giant movie prop, Disney.

The first to notice this, aside from Google, was one of those Twitter users, a one Kevin Beaumont; with this tweet:

There it is everyone! The large spaceship! Right fucking there, the birds knew all along!

One person replied to the tweet, saying:

“My big Star Wars fan colleague walks his dog in this area and he almost pissed himself when he found out that we were walking next to the Millennium Falcon every day.”

I think this is funny - walking past the actual, literal Millennium Falcon every day with your stupid dog (even the dog didn’t know, the dolt!) and being blissfully unaware that those there shipping containers harboured your favourite nerd centrefold.

Anyway, the film, directed by Rian Johnson, will be out on 15 December, so you’ll be able to see it in full view, without any corrugated metal surrounding it - how exciting for you and your dog.

In other Star Wars news, it’s been revealed that Johnson himself will be returning to the franchise with a whole new trilogy, with Disney and Lucas Films releasing a statement saying: 

“In shepherding this new trilogy, which is separate from the episodic Skywalker saga, Johnson will introduce new characters from a corner of the galaxy that Star Wars lore has never before explored.”

Again exciting if you like this sort of thing - if you don’t, then I’d probably rather sit next to you at a dinner party, in all honesty. Mainly because the other guy’s got his fucking dog with him again and it’s rubbing its arse on my nice new carpet.

(Image: Jeremy Thomas)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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