A careless cinematographer might have just blown open the entire universe
Nine months doesn’t really sound like long, does it? That’s all we’ve got to wait until we get to see the concluding part to the Avengers saga - a measly nine poxy months until we find out how Cap and co. are going to sort out what Thanos did when he sodding well murdered everyone. Very exciting.
Thing is, it’s all kept under-wraps and it’s all very SECRET and nobody is allowed to know anything about it otherwise the world will stop turning and a nuclear winter will commence and everyone will die - we will all die if somebody finds out anything about it. Like its title, for example - if we found out the title of it, nine months in advance, then we’d all shrivel up and cease to be. End of the world shit, we’re talking, freakin’ end of days, buster.
Which is why it’s TERRIBLE news that the actual title may have been revealed.
Yep, the proper, real-as-all-hell name of Avengers 4 may have been leaked by a man on the inside. Don’t look directly at this otherwise you’ll turn to stone, but the rumoured title is (close one eye, at least):
Avengers: End Game
Crazy, eh? But just how did we reach this worrying state? What sequence of events led to the world hanging so precariously in balance? Well, it’s all down to cinematographer Trent Opaloch, and his very slippery butter fingers, sliding all over the place, pressing buttons willy-nilly like a greased slow worm on Red Bull.
You see, Opaloch had listed his prior achievements on his website, and had included his work on the latest Avengers movie, complete with full title:
*AVENGERS 4 TITLE SPOILER*— Marvel Facts & News (@MarveIFacts) June 30, 2018
A Russo brother Cinematographer, Trent Opaloch, has listed ‘Avengers: End Game’ on his website, possibly giving away the title of #Avengers4 While this may be a place holder, it is the first concrete details of the title pic.twitter.com/5uUVYuk9mm
Wuh woh! There it is, slap-bang at the top of the list - the naughty secret title (which has now been changed to the much more mysterious Avengers 4), airing out for everybody to see.
Of course, now that this has spread across the internet like some sort of super-powered greased slow worm on Red Bull, there’s always the chance that they could change the title once again to keep up the surprise. Although the thought of someone actually being surprised by a film title is hard to grasp; someone actually going “AHH!!” when a title is released, don’t think that ever happens, in all honesty.
Still, there’s always the chance to go for something a bit more snappy with a title change, like Avengers: The Purple Man With The Big Chin Done Snuffed It All Up Again Dag Nummit Let’s Whack Him A New Butt Whoop And Bring Back Spidey From Space.
Just a suggestion though, no pressure. You don’t have to act like a greased slow worm on Red Bull about it.