You’ve probably seen Anchorman, or if you haven’t, you’ll definitely have at least one friend whose entire reason for being is to quote it at every given opportunity. What I’m saying is you know what Anchorman is like. You know it’s stupid. You know it’s unrealistic. You know none of it would ever happen in real life.
But then you remember: it is 2018, and anything can happen. The world nowadays is an endless stream of ridiculousness, the likes of which could only be dreamed of just years before (’dreamed’ maybe is the incorrect word - I’m leaning more towards a nightmare vibe with this one). Anything goes now, basically.
And a lot of that is down to Trump being president of the USA - a reality that started off as a Simpsons joke. So if we use him as a jumping-off point, I now bring you to today’s ludicrous event.
Firstly, familiarise yourself with this scene in Anchorman, featuring Brick reporting on panda births:
And then this mighty similar one in Anchorman 2:
And then let me introduce you to staunch Trump supporter and Fox News presenter Tucker Carlson - a man who took to the airwaves soon after the FBI raided Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen’s office, and addresses the important issue… pandas.
Yes, while every other major outlet was covering the important election-meddling story, Carlson was reporting on panda sex - the real juicy stuff.
So fond is he of Trump, that he completely eschewed any actual news and instead chose to tackle the topics that really matter, by saying things like “The real panda is a secret stud with a taste for flesh”. Who’d have known?
The whole sorry affair is an instance so similar to Anchorman’s ridiculous news coverage, that director Adam McKay even tweeted about it:
Anyway, welcome to 2018 everybody! The end of days!