Celebrities might be successful, beautiful, talented, charismatic, philanthrophic and essentially possess all the attributes that any potential mate could find desirable - or they might be on TOWIE - but that doesn’t mean that their path to finding love is any easier than the well-worn road that us lesser mortals walk along.
And that includes their fair share of disastrous dating experiences.
We spoke to some stars of sport, stage, screen to find out their worst dating disaster. Just to make us all feel better. Enjoy.
“I was meant to take a girl to the theatre. She wasn’t that nice and had already flaked out on me a couple of times – I don’t know why I bothered. We got the Tube to where I thought the play was on, then found out it was the other side of town. She didn’t find it funny, she was just p*ssed. We stopped for a coffee and after five minutes she just went, ‘Later.’”
“I went on a date with someone on a Friday night, and I couldn’t get her to leave my house until Monday morning. I’d already told her I had no plans all weekend, and she kept cancelling hers. So short of saying, ‘I don’t want you to be here,’ there wasn’t anything I could do. Until I actually did have plans, on Monday morning.”
“I met this girl in a club. We were having a great time, the vibe was right. Before she left, she put her number in my phone. All cool. And then it started ringing before I could hit ‘Save’. It was an automated call. I let it ring out and looked back at my phone. And there was nothing there. Maybe we’ll meet another time. Maybe it was divine intervention.”
“My date had already had a lot to drink beforehand – so much so she sort of blacked out. I had no idea where she lived, so I took her to my apartment to let her sleep it off. She kept throwing up, so I made her a bed in the bathtub. In the morning, she was gone. She’d folded the bedding very neatly – even though it was covered in vomit.”
“There was a car meet in Southend, so I put two and two together. I took her to the seafront in my drift car – the Nissan 200SX S14. It was road-going back then, but it was fitted with rally seats, harnesses, the works. It wasn’t a date – it was just me driving around with my mates for a couple of hours. Terrible for her.”
“I went on a date with a girl from Liverpool who kept talking about her ex. But her accent was so strong I couldn’t understand her. I kept nodding along, saying, ‘Oh yeah, that’s really bad.’ It got so awkward I had my mate call me to say I’d been burgled. I told her an expensive watch had been stolen, my money was missing and that I needed to go home.”
“On my second date with my wife of the last 20 years, we were in a pub garden. I was doing my best to appear impressive and insouciant in a way I clearly wasn’t. And then I got mightily shat on by a pigeon. Right-in-the-middle-of-my-head shat on, there’s-no-recovering-from-that shat on. We’ve been together ever since, so maybe it helped.”
“I never have terrible dates. But I’ve had bad Valentine’s Days. The worst is when you’re not really in love – and the other person gets emotionally ahead of you. When they start to view the friendship bigger than how you see it, that’s the worst feeling, because your intentions are never to hurt someone you enjoy spending time with.”