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52 weeks of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson: Week 16

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Ralph Jones
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Dwayne The Rock Johnson

There’s only one topic worth discussing in this week’s Rock Report. Only one topic deserving of our time. Only one subject worth going anywhere NEAR.

The Rock’s had a baby.

You heard right. On April 23 Mr Dwayne Johnson The Rock shared the news that he and his partner Lauren were welcoming into the world a baby girl called Tiana. The Instagram post became his most popular in quiiiiiiite some time (8.7 million likes at the time of writing). The baby is, unsurprisingly, a bundle of absolute cute – inevitably far more adorable than the overrated ‘royal baby’ we’ve heard so much about. Here at The Rock Report we pass on our congratulations to all three – mother, father, and tiny Rock.

A post shared by therock (@therock) on

With regard to the photo, it’s not clear why The Rock needed to be quite so topless. Further investigation might reveal why he was walking around the hospital sans shirt. Perhaps even at the birth of his own daughter he wanted to get sweaty and deadlift something – settling on ‘people in hospital’ as the best and only option available.

The most interesting thing about this Rock news-nugget came, as it often does, deep in the body of his Instagram caption. “Word to the wise, gentlemen,” he wrote. “It’s critical to be by your lady’s head when she’s delivering, being as supportive as you can. Holding hands, holding legs, whatever you can do.” 

Let’s analyse this element first. What a great thing to say, Rocky baby. Long gone are the days when it was de rigueur for a man to want to swerve this duty entirely, out of a misguided sense of squeamishness and fear. “I’ll be outside, having a fag,” said the man of yore. It should come as no surprise that Dwayne Mr Johnson The Rock has no time for the man of yore. Stand by your partner, says The Rock. Support her at the most exhausting moment of her life.

The caption goes on: “But, if you really want to understand the single most powerful and primal moment life will ever offer – watch your child being born. It’s a life changer and the respect and admiration you have for a woman will forever be boundless.” 

The Rock family

The Rock with his wife Lauren Hashian and daughter Jasmine

This is an interesting development. He doesn’t label the parts of anatomy himself and we don’t know what kind of birth his partner Lauren had, but, for The Rock, this is still an extremely intimate thing to communicate to his 103 million followers – because, obviously, he’s saying that he advises watching your baby literally come out of your partner’s body. In doing so, he could not be further in sensibility from the many men who struggle physically and conceptually with the messy reality of childbirth.

It’s important not to overlook the sentiment at the centre of this caption: admire and respect women. They are creating life in front of your eyes. Don’t ever be frightened or repulsed by the realities of a woman’s body.

For a male celebrity with such a sizeable following to be communicating such a sentiment in 2018 is important. Do you think The Rock is embarrassed to buy tampons? No. Follow his example, in this and other areas. Think about why it isn’t just men but women who are so fond of The Rock. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you’re making women’s lives better or if The Rock would be ashamed of your equivocations, your half-arsed excuses and your casual sexism.

Be better. Aim higher. Think to yourself, “Would The Rock be proud of me today?”

That’s it for this week. Stay hungry, stay humble.

Read The Rock Report archive right here

(Images: Getty)

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Ralph Jones

Ralph Jones is a staff writer for ShortList magazine. In April 2015 he won a seven-foot throne of dildos but he’d rather you didn’t mention it. He performs sketch comedy and is on Twitter at @OhHiRalphJones

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