CLICK the gallery above to see who comes on top each century
With the new season virtually upon us, everyone's got their crystal balls out right now trying to predict what will happen in the glorious four professional divisions of the English footballing pyramid. But no one truly knows what's in store. Except for one dedicated hero among us.
Reddit user Lorf_Yimzo decided to consult the next best thing to a simulator and run his version of Football Manager 2015 for a thousand years, in order to see what the famed computer game would come up with for England's divisions. It took him 58 days to get all the way through to 3015, but we think you'll agree it was completely worth it.
The key winners of the next millennium were Bramall Lane's finest Sheffield United, who notched up 168 titles, also registering the highest Premier League points total of 101 in the epic 2374/75 season. The FA Cup was dominated by Burnley, who won it 101 times - they also were the second most-successful team in the Premier League and the most consistent club, spending 982 seasons in the top flight. Meanwhile, Real Madrid continued to dominate Europe, winning 108 Champions League titles - presumably including the long-awaited 'La Centésima', while Lazio were the 48-time winners of the Europa League - which we're not sure is something they'd be pleased or disappointed about.
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Meanwhile, attendances got rather out of hand, with Burnley averaging 112,278 at the Harry Potts Arena in the 2901/02 season (despite, as one Reddit user pointed out, the population of Burnley only being 73,000 - perhaps they all got breeding in the mid 2500s) and a whopping 583,214 cramming into Celtic Park to watch them play APOEL in the Europa League in 2987. Imagine the view from the back. Imagine the traffic out of the ground afterwards.
Meanwhile, the Met. Police became unexpectedly popular - their Rideout Stadium held 48,000 by the end of the game.
At the other end of proceedings, York City went 29 games without winning a Johnston's Paint Trophy match - a losing streak spread over a mind-boggling 196 years.
In the World Cup, England were 'far and away the best nation' - although that's possibly due to England being the only league nation active - while Venezuela and Ecuador became ever more powerful. Poor old Holland didn't win their first one until 2586.
We can't even begin to fully describe the epicness of the sim, so you can immerse yourself in Lorf's century-by-century guide to the twists and turns in the gallery below and the record screenshots below that - there's good news for Stoke, Southend and even Bromley fans.
Click gallery to see who comes on top for each century
Here's a massive spreadsheet of all the occupants of the Premier League and their records
Click on the screenshots to enlarge