Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

This is the retired life of FIFA 16

cover.jpg

It's a cycle that all great football games go through.

You emerge in the midst of Autumn, all pace and strong finishing, fancy new physics and eye popping graphics. You dominate every living room across the nation, relegating all competition to sit idly under the telly and gather dust.

And then, after a triumphant span of 12 short months, your replacement emerges on the touchline. He's faster, stronger, better in every aspect. You can't get a game with anyone. With no ceremony or testimonial, your playing career is over.

With Fifa 17 arriving in a storm of praise and cancelled Friday night plans, we look at the immediate future of Fifa 16 - a superb game that became obsolete as of this week. Just what does a retired football game do now?


Collapsing into cabs with celebrities at 4 am

fifa

Sign a lucrative deal to front up a betting company

betting

Become the face of a hair loss product solution

balding

Become a pundit

pundit

Land a job as an assistant at a former club

club

Land the job of England manager

england

Oversee your first win and restore hope the national game

image

Find yourself on the end of a national newspaper sting operation

telegraph

Resign, apologise, and think on what could have been

interview

Fifa 17 is out now by the way. May it have a successful 12 month career. 

(Images: Getty, Rex)

Related

xboxones.jpg

Which console should you buy?

primark.jpg

How Primark, Justin Bieber and boring bands killed the subculture

maxresdefault (3).jpg

Messi and Ronaldo’s ratings on FIFA 17 are getting gamers riled

More

A real-life Mario Kart track is coming and yes, it looks amazing

It's BYOB (bring your own bananas)

by Tom Victor
17 Aug 2017

'The Sims' is not escapism, it's the saddest game ever made

Want an escape from real life? Do anything but reinstall The Sims

by Tristan Cross
29 Jul 2017

Man runs Football Manager for 1000 years and insane things happened

The future of football is a weird, wonderful place

by Dave Fawbert
18 Jul 2017

Mario Kart VR is a real thing and it looks ridiculously fun

Imagine Rainbow Road

by Matt Tate
14 Jul 2017

People are freaking out over this totally stupid Super Mario puzzle

Who invented this?!

by Alex Finnis
14 Jul 2017

I went in search of the last trainers still hooked on Pokémon Go

Can the app still draw mass crowds one year on, or is it all just Pokemon G(h)o-st towns now?

by Hussein Kesvani
06 Jul 2017

The Crash Bandicoot remaster is a time machine to your childhood

Was it always this hard?!

by Matt Tate
05 Jul 2017

This little easter egg about Mario's appearance is really satisfying

This can't be a coincidence

by Alex Finnis
27 Jun 2017

How well do you remember the 'Crash Bandicoot' games?

Wind back that clock to happier times

by Matt Tate
21 Jun 2017

There is a Theresa May fields of wheat game and it's pretty naughty

It's also really addictive

by Matt Tate
21 Jun 2017