Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

This trailer just beat Star Wars to become the most viewed in 24 hours

starwars.jpg

You see this? This is why we can't have nice films any more. 

This is why movie studios will fling scripts brimming with dramatic promise and achingly beautiful screenplays in the bin. Why we'll find ourselves scrolling through film streaming sites in a decade's time muttering "Well shit, did they just not make any good films after 2011?" 

This quivering mass of artistic neglect, this putrid vat of stony glances and muddled exposition, has clocked the most views in 24 hours in YouTube's history - which, by virtue of the digital age spewing more media into this generations' eyeballs than any proceeding, means it's the most watched film trailer in 24 hours in human history.

And it's all our fault.

This is how the conversation in your office will probably go upon clicking this article:

"Have you seen that Fifty Shades Darker has become the most watched film trailer in 24 hours?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Yeah - it amassed 114 million views in its first day of existence, beating the previous record of 112 million views held by Star Wars: The Force Awakens."

"Well gosh, that's impressive. Shall we watch it?"

"Yes let's."

And with that single click of a 'Play' button, we add to the legacy of this monster, the sequel to a film described by The New York Times as "A terrible movie", Rolling Stone as "disappointing", and "total shit" by your mate's other half. 

Fifty Shades Darker will make more money than any film of 2017 - the first made $571 million. It will spawn a thousand thought pieces on erotica and bondage. It will see sales of E. L. James' novels creep back into Amazon's top ten. And it's all because we're can't help ourselves. We are to blame. It's our fault.

If you need us, we'll be having a walk in the rain having a good long think about life - and wondering if we can get a back like Jamie Dornan's if we did enough wide angle pull ups. 

Related

aquaaquarium.jpg

This is why, as they reunite, Aqua deserve to be celebrated

youtube.jpg

This video has become only the second to gain 2bn views on YouTube

dominoes.jpg

Watch 81,000 dominoes fall to create Super Mario magic

Comments

More

A man has used his fidget spinner to like EVERYBODY on Tinder

Where's the quality control, though?

by Gary Ogden
25 May 2017

This new emoji tool tells you which are still cool and which are lame

Less 💅, more 🍆

by Emily Reynolds
24 May 2017

You can now buy the revamped Nokia 3310 in the UK

The retro phone you know and love is back (kind of)

by Matt Tate
24 May 2017

Nintendo respond to touching thank you letter from a blind fan

"We want to keep making games that everyone can have fun playing"

by Matt Tate
24 May 2017

Secret rules on what Facebook allows you to post have been revealed

And it's a pretty confused state of affairs

by Dave Fawbert
22 May 2017

Stephen Hawking reckons we only have 100 years left on Earth

Anyway, happy Friday!

by Tom Mendelsohn
19 May 2017

Watch a young Mark Zuckerberg discover he's got into Harvard

His dad is a lot more excited than he is

by Tom Mendelsohn
19 May 2017

Nintendo have removed a gesture deemed to be offensive from Mario Kart

Up yours, Yoshi

by Matt Tate
18 May 2017

This is rumoured to be the iPhone 8's finished design

Bye bye bezels (maybe)

by Matt Tate
18 May 2017

We might be about to get smartphones that charge fully in five minutes

An Israeli start-up claims it's going to go into production next year

by Tom Mendelsohn
15 May 2017