Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

This trailer just beat Star Wars to become the most viewed in 24 hours

starwars.jpg

You see this? This is why we can't have nice films any more. 

This is why movie studios will fling scripts brimming with dramatic promise and achingly beautiful screenplays in the bin. Why we'll find ourselves scrolling through film streaming sites in a decade's time muttering "Well shit, did they just not make any good films after 2011?" 

This quivering mass of artistic neglect, this putrid vat of stony glances and muddled exposition, has clocked the most views in 24 hours in YouTube's history - which, by virtue of the digital age spewing more media into this generations' eyeballs than any proceeding, means it's the most watched film trailer in 24 hours in human history.

And it's all our fault.

This is how the conversation in your office will probably go upon clicking this article:

"Have you seen that Fifty Shades Darker has become the most watched film trailer in 24 hours?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Yeah - it amassed 114 million views in its first day of existence, beating the previous record of 112 million views held by Star Wars: The Force Awakens."

"Well gosh, that's impressive. Shall we watch it?"

"Yes let's."

And with that single click of a 'Play' button, we add to the legacy of this monster, the sequel to a film described by The New York Times as "A terrible movie", Rolling Stone as "disappointing", and "total shit" by your mate's other half. 

Fifty Shades Darker will make more money than any film of 2017 - the first made $571 million. It will spawn a thousand thought pieces on erotica and bondage. It will see sales of E. L. James' novels creep back into Amazon's top ten. And it's all because we're can't help ourselves. We are to blame. It's our fault.

If you need us, we'll be having a walk in the rain having a good long think about life - and wondering if we can get a back like Jamie Dornan's if we did enough wide angle pull ups. 

Related

aquaaquarium.jpg

This is why, as they reunite, Aqua deserve to be celebrated

youtube.jpg

This video has become only the second to gain 2bn views on YouTube

dominoes.jpg

Watch 81,000 dominoes fall to create Super Mario magic

Comments

More

iPhone 8 rumours suggest it'll have a revolutionary curved screen

And it could be coming out NEXT YEAR!!!

by Jamie Carson
07 Dec 2016

Amazon is launching checkout-free shop where you simply walk out

Goodbye stubborn self-checkout machine, hello freakishly smart tech

by Emily Badiozzaman
06 Dec 2016

The Last Of Us 2 and nine more new Playstation games set for 2017

A certain spin-kicking marsupial is back, too!

by Chris Sayer
05 Dec 2016

New app will allow you to check the potency of your sperm

Get to know your baby makers up-close and personal

by Chris Sayer
05 Dec 2016

WhatsApp is about to stop working for millions of smartphone users

And it's bad news for Nokia or Blackberry users

by Tom Fordy
02 Dec 2016

Delete yourself from the internet with this handy website

And just like that, he was gone.

by Sam Diss
28 Nov 2016

Get on ‘Sindr’ the Catholic Church’s confession app

Swipe to find God in your area

24 Nov 2016

Apple to replace faulty batteries on iPhone 6s devices

21 Nov 2016

These are the worst passwords on the web

Best check yours isn't one of them

17 Nov 2016

What does Facebook really know about you

From ads to linked apps to everything in between

by David Cornish
17 Nov 2016