Blame Hummel. It was their white boot of the 1970s that started all this nonsense of epilepsy-inducing coloured football boots.
Thankfully, adidas' Battle range is a great many shades more tasteful than the usual garish hues seen pumping up and down Premier League pitches. These are the kind of boots that make you want to lace up and thump a ball.
Aimed squarely at the summer's Brazilian festivities, the Battle pack sees five of adidas' high-end boots receive an aggressive colour overhaul. The black and white design of the adizero f50, predator, nitrocharge, 11pro and adizero f50 Messi are apparently inspired by the warpaint of native warriors and the iconic pavement patterns of ancient Mesopotamia, perfected on the Copacabana beach. Besides the splash of colour from the stripes, each colourway uses an even split of black and white (with the exception of the f50 Messi, which sneaks some blue in there for an Argentine theme).
Check out the range below and head over to the adidas store if you fancy putting in an order. While they might help you look like misters Messi and Suarez, you'll need a little bit of practice in them before you'll get an international call up.