8 terrible movie restaurants

Creosote

8 terrible movie restaurants

We'd rather go hungry...

The big screen has given us some mighty fine eateries over the years. Pulp Fiction's Jack Rabbit Slim's combined 'celebrity' waiting staff with delicious - yet expensive - milkshakes, while The Frosty Palace in Grease boasted a relaxed atmosphere and an excellent jukebox. Fight Club's Lou's Tavern even went to the trouble of laying on wholesome family entertainment in its underground car park.

However, not all cinematic restaurants are as well-stocked or welcoming as the ones above. Don't believe us? Cast your eye over the damning reviews below...

(Image credit: All Star)

Denny's (Five Easy Pieces)

SPECIALITY DISH: The 'Number 2' - a plain omelette with cottage fries and rolls
SERVICE: Stubborn, inflexible, bordering on rude
PRICES: Reasonable
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "I recently stopped for lunch at this fictional branch of Denny's with three female companions. Having spotted no option on the menu that took my fancy, I politey enquired whether I could assemble my own meal from the various foodstuffs on offer. Not only did the waitress refuse my perfectly reasonable request, she was also very unhelpful and, at times, downright rude. At one point, in an attempt to lighten the mood, I made a harmless joke involving a chicken. To my horror, she insisted my companions and I leave the premises immediately. We shan't be returning." - R.Dupea



The French Restaurant (Monty Python's The Meaning of Life)

SPECIALITY DISH: Wafer-thin mint
SERVICE: Relaxed, friendly, hospitable. Too hospitable, some might say.
PRICES: Expensive
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "My wife and I enjoyed a mixed experience at this high-class eaterie. The food, wine and pre-dinner entertainment were all exquisite - no complaints there. However, our evening was tainted somewhat by the arrival of a grotesquely overweight man at a nearby table. The man proceeded to vomit openly into a bucket and - at one point - onto a member of the restaurant's cleaning staff. Far from apologising for the obese lout's uncouth behaviour, the waiters pandered to his every request. We shan't be returning." - G.Chapman



The Diner (Road Trip)

SPECIALITY DISH: French toast
SERVICE: In hindsight, grotesque
PRICES: Reasonable
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "Some friends and I visited this roadside diner during an eventful motoring holiday in 2000. I ordered plain French toast, but it arrived with powdered sugar on it. When I asked the waiter to remove the sugar, he couldn't have been nicer. He returned immediately to the kitchen and when he emerged shortly afterwards, my toast was sugar-free and utterly delicious! However, I have recently seen footage on YouTube of what went on while he was in the kitchen. Needless to say, I shan't be returning." - Kyle



Whammy Burger (Falling Down)

SPECIALITY DISH: Double Whammy with Cheese
SERVICE: Polite but stubborn. Occasionally sarcastic. Easily frightened.
PRICES: Cheap
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "I am a reasonable man. I don't tend to let the little things in life get to me. However, when I visited this garish fast food outlet recently, I was disappointed to learn they would not provide me with breakfast, as they'd stopped serving it three minutes earlier. I reacted as any decent, tightly-wired borderline psychotic would, by pulling out a firearm and waving it around a bit. When my food eventually arrived, it was soggy, flat and looked nothing like the photographs above the counter. I shan't be returning. Largely because I die at the end of the film. Oops, spoiler alert." - William



Gusteau's (Ratatouille)

SPECIALITY DISH: Ratatouille
SERVICE: Efficient but impersonal
PRICES: Very expensive
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "The food at this restaurant was cooked perfectly in the traditional French style. However, the standards of cleanliness were also very much in the traditional French style. By which I mean there weren't any. The staff at Gusteau's seemed to think there was nothing even slightly amiss about allowing a large rodent into their kitchen to help prepare meals. I realise the rat's presence was comical and, ultimately, heartwarming, but it also violated every health code in the book. For that reason, I shall be alerting the appropriate authorities and, obviously, not returning" - Anonymous



Ivy's (Funny Farm)

SPECIALITY DISH: 'Lamb fries'
SERVICE: Extremely friendly, but somewhat misleading
PRICES: Reasonable
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "This down-home diner seemed like the perfect spot for my wife and I to grab a quick bite while an enjoying an evening out in the late Eighties. I quickly struck up a rapport with both the staff and the clientele, as I wolfed down the eaterie's delicious speciality dish - 'lamb fries'. I was not informed what, exactly, was in these 'lamb fries' until after I had consumed over 30 of them. I shall not, under any circumstances, be returning." - 'Mr Lamb Fries'



Chotchkie's (Office Space)

SPECIALITY DISH: Extreme fajitas
SERVICE: Unbelievably irritating
PRICES: Middling
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "I would challenge any normal, rational human being to spend five minutes in this establishment without physically attacking one of the waiters. Don't get me wrong - I am all for a bit of friendly chatter with the person serving me. But the relentless chirpiness and ludicrous outfits of these grinning automatons would be enough to drive Gandhi to blind, ugly violence. I even saw one exasperated young waitress - who closely resembled Rachel off of Friends - publicly resign in an extremely uncouth manner. I can't say I blame her and I shan't be returning." - Anon.



Winkie's, Sunset Blvd (Mulholland Drive)

SPECIALITY DISH: N/A
SERVICE: N/A
PRICES: N/A
WHAT THE CUSTOMERS SAY: "Don't, for God's sake, go out behind the dumpster" - Dan

Tags: movies, films

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