Tracking the soaring stocks and junk bonds of social media, helping you to invest carefully and speculate wisely. (By Rhodri Marsden)
Rising: "North by North West"
Below are just a few of the many millions who have failed to heed Gideon’s sage advice today. The joke is being tweeted hundreds of times an hour by people who are convinced that they’re the first to think of it. The repetition has pushed this thing way, way beyond humour. It has become an artwork. A Reichian incantation.
There are some of you out there who are considering tweeting a North by North West fragrance joke. I would urge you to reconsider.— Gideon Defoe (@gideondefoe) June 21, 2013
oh good when kim and kanye’s daughter has her own fragrance it’ll be called “north, by north west”— Andy Levy (@andylevy) June 21, 2013
It's 2030. Kim and Kanye's baby is 17. An advert appears for her new fragrance, 'North.' V/O: "North, by North West." [universe explodes]— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) June 21, 2013
Kim & Kanye's kid is in a great place to release a 'North by North West' clothing line.— Caspar 01 (@caspar01) June 21, 2013
UPDATE: North West is already selling her first fragrance, North by North West.— Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) June 21, 2013
so maybe the Kanye/Kim sprog will grow up to direct a film about herself and name it after herself and that would be... NORTH BY NORTH WEST— bat020 (@bat020) June 21, 2013
I do hope Kim and Kanye's baby grows up to become a fashion designer - diffusion line North by North West— Pamela Hutchinson (@PamHutch) June 21, 2013
Fact: K & K's kid can have a clothing label called North by North West in the future. This is just good planning, guys.— J. Bartram (@anna_swan) June 21, 2013
To properly illustrate my point I’d have to make this Twitter Index entry about four miles long, but I’ll spare you. Maybe just one more – one of the 65 virtually identical jokes that have been posted since I started writing this entry:
If Kanye's kid is smart, It would make a clothing line called "North: by North West"— Michael Ray Hansen (@TheCakeMilker) June 21, 2013
Get your live joke update right here.
I hope Kanye + Kim Kardashian's kid releases a perfume when she's older. She could call it North, as in "North, by North West"— Stanley Pignal (@spignal) June 21, 2013
Falling: "I am in you"
I am in tesco car park and I just do not know why I am in tesco car park— Gab Kaas (@GabK96) June 13, 2013
Or it could be vaguely exotic:
I'm in boots getting all my pictures printed off— ✌ (@jonnyssheep) June 18, 2013
I am in Kazakhstan today. Earlier this afternoon, I spoke at the Turkey-Kazakhstan Business forum.— Plaid Recep Erdoğan (@Plaid_Erdogan) May 23, 2012
Morning Twitter! I am in the Seychelles! Yay! I have not-horrendously-slow internet in my room. Yay! It's raining. Boo!— Caroline O (@yo_grady) January 3, 2012
But describing your whereabouts by saying "I am in [placename]" lost its currency around mid-2011. The correct syntax, if you wish to observe Twitter etiquette, is "[placename], I am in you."
I am in Dagenham, probably the closest I've been to dying today.— Nick Harden (@NickHarden92) December 21, 2012
London, I am in you.— Tyler Oakley (@tyleroakley) June 19, 2013
SCOTLAND I AM IN YOU!!!— Martin Belam (@MartinBelam) June 19, 2013
This can be neatly and amusingly subverted, if you're feeling inventive:
Majorca, I am in you— Emma Kennedy (@EmmaK67) June 18, 2013
Bad mood: I am in you.— Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) June 18, 2013
TEXAS. I AM IN YOU.— Sara G (@twobitart) June 20, 2013
Atlanta, I am in you.— McKayla ♥♥ (@JB1Druinedme) June 20, 2013
Michigan! I am in you!— Matthew LaFleur (@DoodleMatt) June 20, 2013
Memo all depts: No-one in the history of Twitter has yet tweeted the phrase "Trouble, I am in you" when they're in trouble. Possibly because people in trouble generally don't have the time to impose Germanic sentence structure on tweets describing their predicament. But if you fancy being the first, knock yourself out. Be my guest. Just don't follow it up with "Custody, I am in you", "Prison, I am in you" or "Death row, I am on you."
Barnsley. .... I am in you— Graeme Smith (@Grezmundo23) June 20, 2013