Londoners have ranked how stressful each Tube line is

We have already clarified many, many times – many times – that the Tube is a nightmare. In summer it’s hotter than the deepest bowels of hell, you can never get a seat, and if you do get a seat someone’s arse or crotch is always directly level with your eye. The Bakerloo Line has an average temperature of nearly 30 degrees celsius! The Victoria line has 22 different bacterial species living on it! There is literally no point in ever, ever leaving the house!

And now we have YET MORE proof that the underground is the work of the devil: Virgin Active have released an official ranking of the most stressful Tube lines. And despite their accolades as the hottest and dirtiest tube lines respectively, the Bakerloo and Victoria lines don’t top the list – it’s, unsurprisingly, the Central Line that gets the ‘honour’.

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of taking a Central Line train at any point during rush hour this will not surprise you. It is so busy and so hot and nobody has any manners or appears to have ever left the house or interacted with other human beings before.

The top three is completed by the Northern and Piccadilly lines.

The full list is as follows:

1. Central
2. Northern
3. Piccadilly
4. London Overground
5. District
6. Victoria
7. Bakerloo
8. Jubilee
9. Circle
10. Hammersmith & City

It turns out that getting the Tube is not that great for our mental health, either. The study also found that two thirds of us find our daily commutes to be the “main source of stress” in our lives over politics, family life and even careers. Stress levels also fluctuate within London itself – those who live south of the river are the most stressed (36%) compared to north (22%) and east Londoners (21%). 

Thankfully, TfL have released a new Tube map to help combat this slightly – it uses grey shading to highlight areas of the network which are underground and for how long, helping anxiety and claustrophobia sufferers know which areas to avoid. 

Virgin Active – being a gym chain and all – suggest that exercise might be a good way to channel and deal with stress, but our advice is that you just never leave the house ever again. Easy.