There are some things in the water. And the toilets. And they're taking over the internet.
We were struggling to determine which of these ridiculous animal stories the ShortList.com masses would enjoy more - so we decided to bring you word on all of them and ask your opinion as to which should win the totally pointless "Coolest Animal of September 2015" award. We're making a trophy and everything (we're not).
Browse the stories, vote below and send it to your mate Chris who bloody loves weird animal photos.
Mutant Japanese Wolf Fish
Look at it. Just look at the bloody thing.
This ungodly nightmare of a creature is a Japanese Wolf Fish, caught by Hirasaka Hiroshi in the waters between the Japanese island of Hokkaido and the Russian coast.
Japenese Wolf Fish are ugly buggers at the best of times - but it's thought this particular monster might have been mutated by the Fukushima nuclear disaster.
What could possibly be cooler than a mutant monster fish? Well...
A Seal Riding A Whale
...how about this?
Robyn Malcolm was taking a boat tour of the Eden coast of New South Wales when she snapped a fish-feeding frenzy that had drawn in birds, dolphins, seals and even a whale.
It was only when she got home and was looking through her snaps that she realised how this seal managed to gain a prime seat at the table: it was riding the whale.
Get Pixar on the phone - we've got an idea for a new animal friendship feature film.
Australia's public toilet problem
From the monstrous to the cool, we now turn to the downright terrifying.
As dry season hits down under, some of the nation's larger snakes are heading inside in search of damp, cool shelter. Like the inside of your toilet bowl.
Snake catcher Elliot Budd was called in to this public loo after a 2.4-metre carpet python was discovered hiding in it. The previous week, he'd helped a three-metre snake out of another loo in a building site.
We've no idea who first found this snake, but we like to think they dropped trouser and sat upon the throne, only to hear a soft hissing noise beneath their seat. At least they were in the right place to soil themselves.
Crocodiles. Docile, cold-blooded creatures that spend most of their day sitting about on river banks soaking up the sun - and then BOOM, when they hit peak operating temperature, they become lethal killers, capable of physical feats of power like that shown above.
You're going to need a bigger boat. And a longer pole. And fresh pants.