Your eyes open. Your head is pounding and your mouth is dry. What happened last night? Slowly, the pieces start to come together. Had a few beers, had a few more, had a few more after that... then I bulldozed my own pub.
Hang on, I bulldozed my own pub? Oh no. Oh dear.
We imagine these were the thoughts going through the head of one Mark Swistun, landlord of the Royal Oak pub in Penclawdd near Swansea, who demolished part of his own pub at 1am in July this year after one of his staff refused to serve him and his friends after last orders at 11pm.
He reportedly then left the building in a fury, returning two hours later in a "huge yellow digger" which then attacked the boozer, causing almost £40,000 damage to its extension, destroying the outdoor tables and smashing bricks and roof tiles.
He was arrested, but now South Wales Police has announced that he will not face criminal charges - as it was his own property.
"We would have needed someone to make an official complaint about the damage he caused," a police source stated. "No one came forward to do that."
One person who will surely not be happy, though, is his business partner Colin McDonald. He and Swistun had both invested £60,000 into the Royal Oak pub just a year earlier; Swistun and his friends then became regulars.
A local resident commented, "It was a classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. But I suppose the police couldn't charge him because he owns the pub and he can do what he wants with it."
We hope he at least said sorry to Colin and promised to think about what he'd done.
(Image: Wales News Service)