Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

How to win in court

court.png

ShortList’s guest editor — and the most sued man in English legal history — Ian Hislop offers his top tips on how to leave a courthouse smiling.

“Firstly, you must be 100 per cent sure you’re correct.”

“Ensure your principal source/witness doesn’t bottle out the night before. During one case, we had a witness promise they’d support us but on the day, we got a call saying, ‘I’m afraid they’re not coming.’ Who was it? [Laughs] I’m not telling you.”

“Don’t lose your temper or make jokes. I do both of these — I can’t resist. One barrister described me as flippant and I said, ‘Have you heard yourself recently?’ It doesn’t go down well. The court and the judge hate it.”

“Finally, if you want to win in court, do not get me involved.”

Related

Ian Hislop_HERO.jpg

Ian Hislop

Comments

More

The Daily Mail have finally lost the plot with their latest front page

We should ban Google apparently

by Dave Fawbert
24 Mar 2017

Charlton Athletic unveil touching tribute to PC Keith Palmer

Police officer killed in London attack was a keen football fan

by Dave Fawbert
23 Mar 2017

This retired racehorse has absolutely zero chill

"Woah Shamrock"

by Matt Tate
22 Mar 2017

This Monopoly board show how much it actually costs to live in London

Oh well, renting forever

by Gary Ogden
22 Mar 2017

This 'new catnip' will get your cat off its tits

Thanks science

by Emily Reynolds
22 Mar 2017

Everyone is mad about Mary Berry's pie

No soggy bottoms here

by Emily Reynolds
22 Mar 2017

Spare a thought for the Cadbury social media manager

Guess what? The internet is wrong again

by Emily Reynolds
22 Mar 2017

This fossil has been named after David Attenborough

As birthday presents go, that's a pretty good one

by Emily Reynolds
22 Mar 2017

Stephen Hawking is going into space

Astro-Hawk takes flight

by Gary Ogden
21 Mar 2017

The average date costs £129, apparently

Where are these people going?

by Emily Reynolds
20 Mar 2017