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Here's what Londoners search for on the average night out

Taxi number.

Beer garden.

Kebab delivery.

All things you'd expect to be punched into Yelp on the average night out in the UK's capital, right? Wrong.

The review crowdsourcing site has revealed the "most search for" phrases of Londoners looking to paint the town red - and it turns out they're a pretty sordid bunch.

Check out the following gallery to see how the night of the average London Yelp user slides from the illicit to the downright desperate. You can clearly see how the average night goes from boozy fun to regrettable decisions.



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Danny Wallace on a case of mistaken identity at the supermarket

26 Oct 2016

There's an adult-sized version of the toy car we all had

Forget your Ferarris, this is where it's at

by Dave Fawbert
25 Oct 2016

Obama just obliterated Trump On Jimmy Kimmel's 'Mean Tweets'

The bewigged one just got served

by Joe Ellison
25 Oct 2016

Stephen King teased Donald Trump story and Twitter reacted wonderfully

We can't think of many scarier things than this man as President

by Tom Fordy
24 Oct 2016

This American listed everything we Brits do better than our US cousins

Including cheese, sarcasm and knowing which bit of your body to hit a ball with

by Tom Fordy
24 Oct 2016

Scientists claim they've solved the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle

About bloody time

by Tristan Cross
24 Oct 2016

The world's top male escort answered a bunch of insightful questions

Everything you've ever wanted to ask, answered in explicit detail. NSFW

24 Oct 2016

Obama just danced to Hotline Bling with Usher

Still officially the coolest President of all time

24 Oct 2016

Watch this huntsman spider kill a mouse and never sleep again

Of course it happened in Australia

by David Cornish
24 Oct 2016

The new bike lock that will literally makes thieves sick

The SkunkLock sprays a vomit-inducing chemical when cut

by Tom Fordy
21 Oct 2016