Hey - remember Michelle Thomas? That lady whose awful Tinder experience went viral last week? Well, right now, ShortList.com's brother-brand Mr Hyde is helping her find a date that doesn't suck. Is that date you?
You probably read about Michelle. She went out with some dude who followed up their date with possibly the worst 400-word text message imaginable (click the above link to read it). Last week she replied on her blog and it then all went a bit mad. This is where Mr Hyde steps in. We thought we'd give Michelle the chance to specify her exact criteria for a date. Because why shouldn't she get precisely what she wants? If the below description sounds like you, then get in touch. We'll let Michelle choose which of you she wants to date and you'll go out for a massive posh dinner, courtesy of Mr Hyde, at a ridiculously cool London restaurant. Take it away Michelle...
"Your body should be somewhere between chubby Chris Pratt and buff Chris Pratt. I mean, if I take this as an exercise in cosmic ordering, what I really want is the actual Chris Pratt. But, you know, if you're not him, that's cool. Your face must not be smug. No Steven Seagal ponytails, please. And no wacky hair colours. Grow up. Tattoos are fine, as long as you know that having them doesn't make you a better person than me. The one exception: absolutely no tatts that say "WANDERLUST" or similar.
"If you refer to 'going on holiday' as 'travelling', it's not going to be a goer. Likewise If you like keeping active – great. If you describe yourself as a 'TOUGH MUDDER ELITE ENDURANCE HEPTATHLETE”, it makes you seem a little....intense (read: mad. The bad kind, not the fun kind). Also, if you tell me you 'love a big night out, but also love cuddling in front of the telly' you might as well say 'I'm a big fan of converting oxygen into CO2'."