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Winter coat thief steals gear in 97°F temperatures

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Go home everyone, the hunt is over, we've found the world's biggest imbecile.

Donnell Norman was the name and pinching goodies from work was his game. Doing it subtly wasn't.

He got the basics right, going to work at a Nordstrom warehouse, concealing stolen goods before heading out to syphon his ill-gotten gains into his car and returning to work.

Alas, in sweltering 36°C (97°F) temperatures the Maryland resident would wear a thick winter coat, blatantly stuffing the sleeves with his hot gear. Also, brilliantly, to excuse his regular car trips he would claim a cigarette break. Twenty of them per day despite not being a smoker.

Among the merchandise stolen were $2,000 watches, $500 shirts and $300 sunglasses. He amassed somewhere in the region of $60,000 of stuff in total.

He would then sell the goods from his home (“[He] would sell it from his house like it was a Nordstrom Counter,” said Sgt. Aubrey Thompson) and anything he couldn't shift he would return to Nordstrom and claim a refund.

His laughable efforts were of course spotted by loss prevention officers. He now faces 15 years inside where hopefully he will be roommates with the guy who failed in three armed robberies in the space of just 13 minutes.

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