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The Twitter Index


Tracking the soaring stocks and junk bonds of social media, helping you to invest carefully and speculate wisely. (By Rhodri Marsden)

November 1st, 2013

Falling: Knock Knock Jokes

Yesterday wasn't just Hallowe'en, the anniversary of Houdini's death and Vanilla Ice's birthday. It was also National Knock Knock Joke Day – although it was unclear which nation was supposed to be celebrating, and what that nation might gain by celebrating. Surely not to raise awareness? After all, awareness of Knock Knock Jokes is right up there with awareness of Germany, ears and string. We all know what Knock Knock Jokes are. (I'm keeping the capitalisation going because I find it mildly amusing.) They represent one of the most elementary forms of humour, along with impersonations and blowoffs. And they're not dying out. Even today, on Not National Knock Knock Joke Day, Knock Knock Jokes are being splurged onto Twitter at the rate of around 100 a minute. Attention really does not need to be drawn to the plight of the Knock Knock Joke. It's alive and kicking.

Adult humans don't usually laugh at Knock Knock Jokes; you can normally see them coming a mile off, and even if you don't see them coming you're more likely to react with weary acceptance than mirth. More enjoyable, I find, are the mystifyingly impenetrable Knock Knock Jokes; the ones that clearly provide some kind of comedic resonance to the person to invented them, but remain stubbornly impervious to analysis and leave you puzzling over them as if they were ancient Mayan riddles or fossilized footprints. Here's some from today, fresh off Twitter:

Actually, that last one is pretty good, if only because the author has recognised the similarity between the words "Porkchop Giniling" and "Don't Stop Believin'" – although how he came to that realisation is going to remain a glorious mystery. I like the ones that start in English and lapse into not English:

Especially if they end with "HAHAHA!"

And even more so if they end with "bye".

Or, indeed, a plea for romantic engagement.

Or a plea for participation.

But, perhaps predictably, this is by far the most common Knock Knock Joke doing the rounds. Please Harry. Please!