The first rule of Subway sandwiches is a simple one: do not, no matter the circumstances, attempt to eat a foot-long Meatball Marinara while walking. Never. Ever.
And until today, that was pretty much it. Everything else goes. A six-incher with only mayo and olives? You got it! Tuna and ketchup? Coming right up! Salt and pepper on Italian, toasted on 3? Sure man, whatever floats your boat!
But let us go back and emphasise that until today part.
No strangers to coming under fire on Reddit (this thread is a cultural highlight of the past decade), the fast-food chain has suffered more unwanted attention in a recent AMA. In it, a 'UK shift manager' (in inverted commas because, y'know, we can't be totally certain) revealed the two options you should perhaps reconsider ordering before plopping it in your bready baton.
"Avoid Chipotle Chicken & Teriyaki Chicken," he told users. "Chicken is given a two day shelf life, once in the counter. However these two bypass this and get four days, and can get a little stinky."
"Stinky". "Stinky." If there's one option we won't be asking for, it's "chicken, extra stinky." Mega gross.
We should point out that the shift manager went on to praise the general health and safety regulations of the chain, and suggested that of all the other well-kept ingredients on offer steak was "probably the freshest, and safest."
But Subway wasn't getting out of this that easily. Someone claiming to be a former employee across the Atlantic piped up with an even more horrific tale of foul fowl:
"I was a Subway employee for around a year here in the States," he typed. "Seeing that you guys have a two-day shelf on Chicken Teriyaki amazes me."
Anyone about to take a mouthful of lunch might want to look away now.
"Our CT had a five-day shelf and we were told that once it reaches the fifth day, to just change the date. With all of the shift changes and varying factors, we never knew how long this chicken was out (between 5-9 days). I quit after I got reprimanded for throwing out CT on the fifth day."
Uh huh. Salad, anyone?