Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

These GIFs show you what would happen to your food if all the bees died

Honey+Bee+-+Honeycomb+Yellow.jpg

The bees are dying, and this is bad, because bees are cool and also it will affect our food. So no longer will you be able to eat plates of bees or bowls of bees or pints of bees. Can’t have a bee carbonara, a bee lasagne, mushy bees, anything with vitamin bee in it, a cup of English breakfast bee, chickbees, bees, a bee or fucking I don’t know, baked beens or something.

But that’s not it – even if you don’t eat bees with/as your main meal, the bees dying will still mess up your favourite non-bee foods. These gifs, from noted beedophiles Fairmont, show just how drastically our food would be affected if all the bees buzzed off into the big hive in the sky. Hiven, you could call it.

First up, breakfast:

b

So what we’re missing here is: Almonds (granola), blueberries, coffee, orange juice, pumpkin seeds (granola), rapeseed (oil) spread, raspberries, strawberries, sunflower spread (oil) and seeds. That’s a lot, and they don’t even mention honey. You won’t be able to have honey either, because that’s what bees’ poo is made of.

The main reason for the loss of most of these items is that bees pollinate a load of stuff, like orange trees, blueberry crops and coffee plants. Taking away the bees will hugely lower the amount of plants shagging each other. Bees are the Tinder of the insect world.

Next up, lunch and dinner:

bb

That’s: cucumbers, mustard, onions, peppers, potatoes, sesame seeds and tomatoes, all absent or significantly reduced. It’s all for the same reasons as breakfast – the plants that provide these vegetables are mostly pollinated by bees. Meat and dairy is also at risk, because cows eat things like alfalfa and clover, which are heavily pollinated by bees. 

If we continue to poach bees and use their wings as cute earrings, we’re going to have to deal with not having gherkins in our Big Macs, and that’s not a world I want to live in. I’ll happily stop using bee stings as toothpicks if it means I can have a proper, milk-soaked burger for my dinner.

But what’s for dessert?

bbb

You can say goodbye to apples, blackberries, kiwi and pumpkins if you continue to drill for bees to power your tractors. Can you imagine not ever eating pumpkin again? Yes, you can, but Halloween would be ruined a bit, wouldn’t it? And you love Halloween, don’t you? Your giant bee costume last year was great, but you shouldn’t have made it out of actual bees.

So stop senselessly murdering bees, everyone. Increased use of pesticides and other factors have seen the bee population decrease by 50% in some European countries – that’s pretty drastic, if you ask me. I assume the “other factors” include that YouTube video I made: “The Bee Movie But Every Time They Say Bee I Kill A Bee.”

Related

Bee.jpg

There’s a new theory on why all the bees are dying

hippohero.jpg

27 Tweets that perfectly describe God designing animals

giphy-facebook_s.jpg

Can we all take a second to remember how insane the Bee Movie was

More

Stop whining, serving food on things that aren't plates is fine

There are bigger things to worry about

by Tom Victor
23 Aug 2017

One in 10 Brits would eat their dinner from a dog bowl

One in 10 Brits would happily eat their dinner from a dog bowl

by Tom Victor
23 Aug 2017

The 10 cheapest places in the world to buy a beer in 2017

Important holiday planning information

by Tom Victor
22 Aug 2017

25 discontinued British foods we need to bring back immediately

Gone before their time

by Gary Ogden
22 Aug 2017

The juiciest burger deals to enjoy this National Burger Day

Patty up a storm with Mr Hyde

21 Aug 2017

Your veggie mates are probably getting drunk and eating meat

Know anyone who does this?

by Alex Finnis
21 Aug 2017

We asked burger experts to design the perfect patty for the apocalypse

May as well die happy - while eating a burg

by Chris Sayer
18 Aug 2017

You can get free chips delivered right to your desk today

It's easy, and anyone can do it

by Tom Victor
18 Aug 2017

The 50 best restaurants in the UK have been named

Prepare for some 10/10 food porn

by Tom Victor
17 Aug 2017

What your coffee order says about you

According to an actual barista

by Carl Anka
16 Aug 2017