Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

There's an entire subreddit dedicated to the joys of eating an orange in the shower

shorange.png

An incredibly niche corner of the internet is urging everyone to swap the mighty shower beer for an orange. That’s right – an orange.

The r/ShowerOrange subreddit is a place for veterans and excitable newcomers alike to come together and celebrate the thrill of biting into the fruit mid-scrub. Some of these mavericks even eat the peel. 

We said niche, but since its inception over 8,500 people have the joined movement, which was first uncovered by BuzzFeed’s Brad Esposito.

To understand the appeal we have to consider the undisputed number one problem with eating an orange in the wild: they are a perfectly nice white Oxford shirt-ruining catastrophe waiting to happen. Not an issue for naked showerers; any mess is gone in seconds. Inspired.

Shower orange

Someone's just had an absolutely cracking shower orange

The Shower Orange’s first recorded tribute appeared in a year-old Reddit discussion about unconventional everyday things people should try. The user, known to Redditors as PHOTON_BANDIT, recounted something their male councilor had said to them. 

“PHOTON_BANDIT, would you like to know what the most liberating, carnal, and best feel-good thing you can ever experience is?” the councilor is said to have asked.

No curious BANDIT would say no to that kind of proposition.

“Well just think about it PHOTON_BANDIT. Tearing apart a cold fresh orange with your bare hands, just letting the juices run over your body. Not worrying if you’re going to get sticky, or anything. Just ripping it in half, and tearing into it with your teeth like a savage cannibal who hasn’t eaten in a week! Yes PHOTON_BANDIT, this is the most carnal, ferocious, liberating thing a man can do.”

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Orange shower 2

If you know, you know

No doubt you’re reading this while scanning the fruit bowl in preparation for your next wash, but be warned that there are rules. The r/ShowerOrange collective will under no circumstances accept grapefruits as an acceptable weapon of choice. Oranges, clementines, tangerines and blood oranges are fine, but back the fuck away with your grapefruits.

Oh, and no nudity. Get your kinky fruit-eating kicks elsewhere, yeah?

(All images from Reddit: Do_You_Even_Beer/Greymalken/SirKanyeofWest)

Related

pizza.jpeg

The president of Iceland wants to ban pineapple on pizza

DSC09806.jpg

The biscuits people always bring into your office, definitively ranked

shower beer.jpg

Finally, there's now a beer made for drinking in the shower

More

We asked burger experts to design the perfect patty for the apocalypse

May as well die happy - while eating a burg

by Chris Sayer
18 Aug 2017

You can get free chips delivered right to your desk today

It's easy, and anyone can do it

by Tom Victor
18 Aug 2017

The 50 best restaurants in the UK have been named

Prepare for some 10/10 food porn

by Tom Victor
17 Aug 2017

What your coffee order says about you

According to an actual barista

by Carl Anka
16 Aug 2017

Aldi’s £18 whisky has been crowned one of the best in the world

They're getting good at this booze thing

by Tom Victor
16 Aug 2017

All hail Nigel Slater, the Quiet King of Cookery

The dangerously sensual chef makes cooking seem like the most enjoyable thing in the world

by Josh Baines
15 Aug 2017

There's a very cynical reason behind why crisp packets are so noisy

God damn them

by Emily Reynolds
15 Aug 2017

Wetherspoon's have a new rule and you're *not* going to like it

What are we supposed to do now?

by Tom Victor
14 Aug 2017

This mobile bar will deliver gin to your house

A gin and tonic please, driver

by Gary Ogden
14 Aug 2017

Your Subway sandwich just got more expensive and people are very upset

This is not on

by Dave Fawbert
11 Aug 2017