Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Heineken are launching an alcohol-free lager


I had a house party once, and in the morning when we were cleaning up, I found a bottle of Beck’s Blue. Who brought this to my party? Who took that to a house party? Why did they bring non-alcoholic beer? As a man who exists almost purely on alcohol, I was offended.

It used to be that non-alcoholic lagers were pretty grim. I have had Beck’s Blue before because someone bought me it in a pub when it was their round, as a “joke”. It didn’t taste terrible, but wasn’t exactly nice. If I wasn’t drinking, I wouldn’t get a non-alcoholic beer, I’d get a coke. I’d get a lemonade. I’d get a mocktail.

They’re definitely getting better these days though, and more and more big brands are starting to jump on the booze-free beer bandwagon.



Heineken is the lastest to release its own alcohol-free beer, which, according to the director, David Lette, will be the “best tasting no-alcohol lager” on the market. I suppose one good thing about the new booze is that it’ll be mighty low in calories compared to real beer, with just 21 for every 100ml. So if you’re looking to cut down on your naughty foods and drinks, it might be an option.

Lette also mentioned that research carried out by the company showed that 50% of consumers were now actively trying to curb their alcohol intake, leaving a nice portion of the market ripe for the taking. Fair enough.

It 100% won’t taste as good as the usual, smooth buttery taste of proper Heineken, but I can’t really cuss it out without trying it, can I? We’ll just have to see how good it tastes when it hits the shelves this month. Invite me to your house party and I’ll bring some along.

Lol jk I’m bringing Lambrini. Supposedly Lambrini girls just wanna have fun – that’s me in a nutshell.



2017's worst news yet: Wetherspoon's prices are increasing


Why watching the football with strangers in pubs is fucking great


These men just hit their 20,000th pub on the world's longest pub crawl


We asked burger experts to design the perfect patty for the apocalypse

May as well die happy - while eating a burg

by Chris Sayer
18 Aug 2017

You can get free chips delivered right to your desk today

It's easy, and anyone can do it

by Tom Victor
18 Aug 2017

The 50 best restaurants in the UK have been named

Prepare for some 10/10 food porn

by Tom Victor
17 Aug 2017

What your coffee order says about you

According to an actual barista

by Carl Anka
16 Aug 2017

Aldi’s £18 whisky has been crowned one of the best in the world

They're getting good at this booze thing

by Tom Victor
16 Aug 2017

All hail Nigel Slater, the Quiet King of Cookery

The dangerously sensual chef makes cooking seem like the most enjoyable thing in the world

by Josh Baines
15 Aug 2017

There's a very cynical reason behind why crisp packets are so noisy

God damn them

by Emily Reynolds
15 Aug 2017

Wetherspoon's have a new rule and you're *not* going to like it

What are we supposed to do now?

by Tom Victor
14 Aug 2017

This mobile bar will deliver gin to your house

A gin and tonic please, driver

by Gary Ogden
14 Aug 2017

Your Subway sandwich just got more expensive and people are very upset

This is not on

by Dave Fawbert
11 Aug 2017