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15 questions from The Office that still need answering

After all this time, some matters still need clearing up

15 questions from The Office that still need answering
04 August 2017

It’s hard to believe that the phenomenon that was The Office came into our lives way back in July 2001.

We laughed, we cried, we cheered, we laughed some more and then, after two series and a couple of Christmas specials, it was gone. And, as is natural with a show of this brevity, some big questions were left - perhaps deliberately - unanswered. After all this time, what important issues do we still need to discover the answer to?

Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?

It’s impossible to say really isn’t it? It hasn’t happened yet, but we’re not ruling it out in the future. Perhaps we’ll develop flippers. WE JUST DON’T KNOW.

Speaking of things we don’t know…

To what extent does Keith believe that he has the skills and knowledge to perform his job effectively?

We don’t know.

Did the comic relief photos make it into The Gazette?

It was a bit dark. He didn’t bring a flash. He probably wasn’t going to be able to use them.

Does Finchy really have an IQ of 142?

We’re not sure we believe him.

Who is winning the office quiz now the Dead Parrots 'have ceased to be and gone to meet their maker'?

We imagine there are still a lot of questions about the military though.

Did David Brent ever write that song about Tim asking Dawn out & being turned down?

This could be better than ‘Spaceman’ (though unlikely).

What's Gareth's reaction to the Territorial Army being renamed?

According to Wikipedia: “Under the “Future Reserves 2020” (FR20) plan outlined by then Secretary of State for Defence Liam Fox on 18 July 2011, the Ministry of Defence will provide more money to train more Army Reservists with the objective of more frequently deploying entire Army Reserve units… The Territorial Army was renamed under that plan, becoming the Army Reserve.”

It has been said that part of the reason for the renaming is that Gareth dealt a critical blow to the public’s view of the TA, rendering it so naff they had to rename it.

He’ll definitely still be a member. Definitely.

Where is Stuart Foot these days?

He didn’t really get much of a chance in the interview process against Karen Roper did he?

Is David Brent pleased that the Corrs have reunited?

We’d imagine so. He’s happiest about the drummer mainly, then the singer, and then also that one who plays violin.

Was Gareth a fan of the Tories’ proposed disability cuts in 2017?

“When they go down the DSS to make a claim, they should set off a fake fire alarm so everyone legs it, leaving them there. If they’re fake, they’ll be running with you. If not, they’ll be screaming for help. Then you come back in and say, ‘Don’t cry. You’ve passed. Here’s your money.’”

We would not be surprised if they genuinely considered bringing this in.

Who won the raffle at the office party at the end of series one?

The prize was a printer. David would have given it to charity but no pressure.

Where is Flat Eric these days?

And monkey, while we think of it. It’s probably in therapy isn’t it?

Is this CD still in Brent's ghettoblaster?

Of course it bloody is.

Why has no one made Upstairs Downstairs, hosted by David Brent, yet?

Now we’ve had Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank, anything is possible.

Did David Brent go and watch Dolly Parton at Glastonbury in 2014?

She’s a philosopher, you know.

(Images: BBC, Rex)