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The Hardy Boyz, beloved nu-metal tag-team, returned to Wrestlemania last night

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We know you stopped watching when Mother Nature made Vince turn the F turned into an E, but WWE’s flagship show, WrestleMania, truly the Treehouse [of] Horror of wrestling, the granddaddy of them all, a six-hour-long extravaganza of white canvas and tiny pants, brought the goods last night in the only metric that mattered: nostalgia.

Yes, the brothers in broken bodies and with worrying blood alcohol levels are back in the big time. 

Matt and Jeff – still sadly sans Lita, who was last seen wrestling an eight person tag match for MCW Pro Wrestling in Joppa, Maryland last month – made their way down the hundred-meter long ramp to compete in one of the night’s standout events. Everyone loves a good ladder match: it’s essentially nonsense, even for wrestling, and yet that’s part of the fun. The belt-drop fake-outs, the big body drops, and hot imitation-steel-on-imitation-steel action. 

Anyway, they…

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

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SPOILER

Yeah, they won the RAW tag team titles.

Jeff did a big, pointless spot next to the ring where he jumped a Swanton Bomb off The Big Ladder onto two other ladders and only went through one of them, his nu-metal back giving full-bore to the svelte Swiss chest of big man Cesaro, leaving Sheamus to slowly slide off the other ladder unscathed to preserve the narrative. What a pro.

*Scouser voice*

POETRY IN MOTION/TRA LA-LA LA LA

POETRY IN MOTION/TRAAAA LA LA LA LA LA 

[Main Image: WWE]

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