Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Channel 4 just hammered the final nail into Bake Off's coffin

gbbo.jpg

I used to loudly proclaim my disdain for The Great British Bake Off – “Why would anyone want to watch people bake?” I would squawk. “What is this? The stone age? Only cavemen bake cakes.”

All this malice and more was directed at friends, colleagues and people on the bus, until I actually watched one. Then, I don’t know, I guess I quite liked it. It was mainly Val that did it, but still, I understood what the fuss was about – turns out that baking could actually be quite exciting.

Of course, I didn’t form the type of obsession that would make me even give a modicum of a shit if it moved channels or changed presenters, so the news it was going to Channel 4 and being fronted by Noel Fielding didn’t affect my life in the slightest. “I’ll probably still watch another episode in the future,” I said, the person next to me on the bus getting up to move.

But I admit that I’m the anomaly here, because to most of the country, Bake Off is a massive deal. Like, a really massive deal. Life or death kind of stuff.

val

My queen

One thing I did like about the BBC version of the show, was the innuendo. You know, where Mary Berry would say things like “Oooh, that’s a soggy bottom,” or “Nice pair of buns you’ve got there,” or “Coooweeee that looks like a big fat penis!”

So, today’s revelation that the cool, edgy, hat-wearing version of the show will be dropping the innuendo in favour of a “modern” style of comedy irked me a bit. If you can’t have an old woman talking about her baps on prime time TV, then what’s the point at all?

However, Channel 4’s chief creative officer Jay Hunt has said she’s “quietly confident” about the whole thing:

“I have seen the first episode and the first thing you think is that this is Bake Off with an extraordinarily high calibre of contributors but with a slight Channel 4 feel to it.

“It’s got a new tone to it; it’s got a new comic riff to it and I think that feels modern and future-facing. So it’s a show that a lot of people love but with a slight Channel 4 spin which is exactly what I hoped it would be.”

vber

You won't be seeing any more of this

I don’t know what that means, maybe it means that all the contestants will be naked, or Paul Hollywood will offer to give guest judge Shaun Ryder his shoes if he doesn’t swear, or, I don’t know, Zig and Zag will be on it.

Rumours have already circulated about how the judges and presenters haven’t been getting on so well, but Hunt is laughing in the face of the lies:

“I was down in the tent a few weeks ago, pretty much the whole day. Chemistry is hard to achieve in television, and there was natural warmth and they worked really well together.”

Sounds suspect, you know. Noel Fielding saying “Paul, your beard smells of the horizon” doesn’t necessarily equal “natural warmth” in my eyes.

Still, one thing that’s for sure is that there will be baking on it. Cakes will be eatenAnd if we all cross our fingers hard enough, Val will return (she won’t).

(Image: Channel 4)

Related

pri_37142599.jpg

Everything's going tits up on the new 'Great British Bake Off'

gal-villain-gordan-ramsay.jpg

Gordon Ramsay didn't want to be Mary Berry's 'Bake Off' sloppy seconds

bake4.png

Channel 4 getting Noel Fielding for 'Bake Off' may actually be genius

More

'Game of Thrones' fans, could this beloved character be Cersei’s son?

Could it really be true?

by Kayleigh Dray
17 Aug 2017

Gendry's 'Clovis' alias in 'Game of Thrones' could reveal his purpose

This show is so damn smart

by Alex Finnis
17 Aug 2017

An old fairytale could spell doom for the 'Eastwatch Seven'

They may not all come back alive...

by Carl Anka
16 Aug 2017

HBO just made a very big 'Game of Thrones'-related mistake

Not the best timing...

by Carl Anka
16 Aug 2017

Louis C.K. has made a secret movie and the cast is unreal

How did he keep this one quiet?

by Tom Victor
16 Aug 2017

19 things you might have missed from 'Game of Thrones' S7 E5

Did you spot them all?

by Alex Finnis
16 Aug 2017

This 'Game of Thrones' fan theory reveals Littlefinger's possible plan

Is *this* what he's really up to?

by Carl Anka
16 Aug 2017

Game of Thrones fans are being urged to stop buying huskies

A record number have been abandoned

by Gary Ogden
16 Aug 2017

Here's everyone who has Valyrian steel in 'Game Of Thrones'

This will be hugely important in the wars to come

by Carl Anka
15 Aug 2017

Here's how Jon Snow's team know each other

Here's how Jon, Jorah, Tormud, Gendry, The Hound, Beric and Thoros became pals

by Carl Anka
15 Aug 2017