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Top 10 'The Onion' Headlines


Sky Arts (gawbless'em!) is to show the TV spin-off of the spoof news site The Onion, in the UK for the first time. We thought we'd celebrate by revealing their greatest headlines as voted for by, well, three ShortList staffers and the cleaner...

1. Bush Determined to Find Warehouse Where Ark Of Covenant Is Stored

2. Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters

3. ‘I Am Under 18’ Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet

4. Powerful ‘His And Hers’ Towel Lobby Stalls Gay Marriage Legislation

5. Ghost Of Christmas Future Taunts Children With Images of PlayStation 5

6. World Death Rate Holding Steady At 100 Per Cent

7. Zombie Nutritionist Recommends ‘All-Brain Diet’

8. Rest Of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving

9. Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

10. British Royal Family Concerned After Queen Elizabeth II Beheads Seven Tourists

Let us know your favourites below...

Onion News Network comes to Sky Arts 1 every Saturday night at 11pm, from 26 November.



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