Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

The Queen to announce Arsene Wenger will leave Arsenal at the end of the season



Queen Elizabeth II is set to announce that Arsene Wenger is to leave Arsenal at the end of the season, following 21 years in charge of the club.

Wenger has led the Gunners to three Premier League titles and six FA Cups – but has failed to win the league since the 2003/04 season – and sources close to The Queen say she’s become fed up with the club’s lack of silverware.

It is believed that she came close to pulling the trigger after yet another round-of-16 Champions League exit – the embarrassing 10-0 aggregate defeat to German giants Bayern Munich – but she decided to hold off on making the decision until the end of the season, to give Wenger a chance to guide his side into the top four of the Premier League once again.

Now though, after the limp 2-0 defeat to Tottenham on Sunday, it’s said she has had enough.

Many are questioning why the Queen of England has any kind of remit to sack the manager of a football club she has zero involvement with, and does not even support. 

But her response to that, insiders claim, was to tell doubters: “I’m the Queen and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Piers Morgan and that DT off Arsenal Fan TV are right, Wenger’s done, and I’m taking this decision into my own hands. It’s over.”

There is no word yet on who is to replace Wenger, but the Queen has reportedly told sources it will “100% not be Prince Charles. There’s no way that dickhead’s ever getting a job.” 



The story of the craziest football match I've ever seen


Whatever happened to the FA Cup Final song?


Barton makes valid points, but that doesn’t mean his ban is wrong


Sergio Ramos just mercilessly destroyed Lionel Messi

Best in the world? Go fetch mate

by Carl Anka
17 Aug 2017

The 25 best forgotten Premier League goals of all time

Sorry, but these are all better than that Bergkamp goal

by Tom Victor
15 Aug 2017

The Premier League could make the transfer change we've all been after


by Tom Victor
15 Aug 2017

This ref-cam video from Real Madrid's recent game is very, very cool

Shows just how impossible their job is

by Tom Victor
14 Aug 2017

Mo Farah is ditching his name for his new career as a marathon runner

Retiring from track and retiring his name

by Tom Victor
14 Aug 2017

The 50 greatest José Mourinho quotes

Not short of self-confidence

by Tom Victor
11 Aug 2017

Which new Premier League signings will flop this season?

Who'll be a hit and who will be shit?

by Sam Diss
11 Aug 2017

Brutally honest stereotypes about every Premier League team's fans

Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?

by Sam Diss
10 Aug 2017

You have to watch this astonishing 15-second own goal

The other team doesn't even touch the ball

by Tom Victor
10 Aug 2017

We got Michael Owen to review the few movies he’s ever finished

"Didn’t like Rocky I, it’s rubbish"

by Alex Christian
10 Aug 2017